Episode 19: The Unexpected Blessings Behind My Professional Rebirth

Brandon reflects on his journey from nearly four years of unemployment to finding stability in his career and personal life despite significant challenges along the way.

Please start with Episode 1. Go to my site BrandonHeld.com

• Taking a temporary healthcare position over a permanent aerospace job based on intuition and long-term industry outlook
• Unexpected promotion after a colleague's unprofessional behavior and false discrimination claims led to her termination
• Receiving a $20,000 salary increase overnight while transitioning from temporary to permanent status
• Experiencing relationship deterioration as career improved, culminating in threats and a false restraining order
• Finding stability with improved health, a new home for family, and career advancement despite personal setbacks
• Recognizing patterns in how relationships have ended and the importance of civil endings
• Balancing loyalty and gratitude with self-protection when relationships become toxic

Dynamic Content Middle

Chapters

• 0:00 Brandon Held - Life Is Crazy - Episode 19
• 1:50 Reflecting on Unemployment and Job Offers
• 4:47 Choosing the Right Job
• 6:43 Starting the New Job
• 7:44 Workplace Challenges
• 17:21 Personal Life Struggles
• 21:11 Relationship Breakdown
• 26:08 Moving Forward

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Welcome back. Brandon Held, Life is Crazy, episode 19. We are on and we're getting close to the end of my pre-outlined recordings. And so I'm going to have to get to a point here where I'm going to have to launch my website and these podcasts and make them public. And I started my own website, brandonhell.com to put these on as well. If I can figure all that out and it's going to be exciting and I hope you're enjoying these. I understand that it's not the same type of interaction is two people talking together can be hearing different. points of view and different voices, but this is the start. This is how I'm starting. This is me talking and telling my story. And hopefully it speaks to people and people identify with it. And the people that know me and love me maybe will understand me a little better. And the people that don't know me, maybe they're going through the same things as I've said before. But anyway, moving on, last episode, I was going through my journey of being unemployed for three years and 10 months and trying to be a consultant and work part-time jobs and just do other things that just weren't working out for me. And I finally had a couple of job offers and you, some people might think the route that I chose is crazy. But sometimes you just have to believe in yourself and what you're capable of and what you can do. And also, maybe God is on your side a little bit. I had that belief in me at that time. I felt he was helping me. He was helping me with my health. He was helping me with my career. And he was helping me get my life on track in a way that it wasn't for a while since I went through my divorce and got laid off. And so I was offered a couple jobs, three jobs. I genuinely don't remember the other one. I think it was like a low GS, like seven type job, which was not for me. It was way below my value and what I'm worth as an employee. So I turned that down. And then I was offered a job with, shoot, I can't remember the name of the company, but it's an aerospace company. And it's a smaller one. It's not Raytheon, but it's a smaller one in the area. And they were going to give me a buyer role so I could buy parts and products for the company. But it was a lower level role. It was basically an entry level role. And I have an MBA and I had... seven, eight years of aerospace experience. Maybe not exactly as a buyer, but I felt like that was worth something. And they offered me an entry level role, which was going to pay about$52,000 a year. And if that was the only option I had available at that time, maybe I would have taken it. But I also had an option to take this project. project manager type role with a company where it was a temporary role, six to eight months, temporary contract, but it paid$75,000 a year, but I wouldn't have worked the whole year. So I wouldn't have made that much money. And then after that, I was told, depending on how I performed and maybe I could be found for another role. I was let on a little bit, to be honest, because to find a different role would have required me to move. And that just wasn't an option with my sons here in the same city. Anyway, didn't matter. I believed in myself. I believe God was on my side. So I took the temporary project manager role that paid better, not because it paid better. But because I felt like it was going down a path I would rather go, and that was the electronic healthcare records management system. And I wanted to be in the healthcare field. I had been in aerospace while helping me out in short term with a good pay and stuff like that. It also had bit me in the butt twice by laying me off and so I didn't have a positive feeling towards aerospace and before this job was ever even provided to me I knew I wanted to get in the healthcare field some way somehow because people always need healthcare that's not something that's going away the government can make defense cuts and budget cuts and aerospace can it won't go away but be limited be less viable in the ups and downs. And currently that's happening now. Trump and his team are making defensive cuts, but I'm not going to get into that. But healthcare is always needed and always necessary. So I wanted to get into it. So here's my opportunity to get into healthcare. And so I took that job and I took that role and I was really excited about this opportunity because It just felt like everything was falling into place. My health was getting better. I was getting in better shape. I wanted to be in healthcare. I got this offer to be in a position in healthcare, although temporary. And I was on my way. And so in the beginning, I was working from home because this was towards the end of COVID. And I was doing my training from home and all on the computer. Any calls or meetings that needed to take place, which weren't very much, frankly, I would call in from my computer at home. I had a computer. They didn't provide me one. I used my own personal computer and it was all working out. And then after a couple months, the COVID thing was dying down. People were going back to the offices. And so they were requiring me and the other person they had hired to to go to the office and start working in the office. She and I had built a rapport through the working from home situation. Just, we were new, we were trying to learn what we were doing and we were bouncing information back and forth off of each other. And I liked her and she liked me and everything was cool. And then we showed up for our first day at work in person at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base, who was the client. By the way, we were essentially a consultant to the client, Davis-Monthan Air Force Base, the hospital specifically, the healthcare center. And we showed up and I'm dressed up, dress shirt, tie, dress pants, dress shoes, representing looking professional. And she shows up and she's in like this. I'm chilling at home. relaxing outfit and she's wearing sandals, open-toed sandals. And like I first see her and I don't say anything to her because she's essentially a peer to me. I'm not in charge of her. She's not in charge of me, even though she was hired for the more full-time, the firm, the full-time permanent role, because she had experience in healthcare. records field. And also she was a nurse by trade. That was what her degree was in. And so we show up and right off the bat, she doesn't look professional. This doesn't go unnoticed by the clients and the people we have to work closely with. And then the way we are carrying ourselves at work that first day, which is like an introductory I was more of a professional and she was just more of a, hey, I'm chill. I'm cool. I'm just like you. Laid back and talked to everyone like she was just hanging out with her friends. And that didn't go over well. And we departed that day. We went back home and we did some more working from home. And there were things that were asked of each of us to provide the client by a certain date. And I did my part, but she didn't do hers. And the client was upset. So they were already like, okay, you got strike one, the way you're dressing strike to the way you're behaving and then strike three. You're not doing the work. You're not getting the work done on time. And honestly, there's just no excuse for it. It wasn't that much work. It was some hours of work and we had days to do it. And so. That day when we met in person, we were talking about our lives and what was going on and making jokes about how we order stuff from Amazon. And Amazon is like getting all our money because we're spending money at Amazon. Just laughing it up. And she's, I'm spending so much on Amazon. It's crazy. I'm making so much money. I got this job and I still have my full-time job. that I had before that they hired me from. And I don't know if she was just talking without thinking. I don't know what she was, but she totally let that slip out of her mouth to me, or maybe it was intentional. I don't really know, but I couldn't believe she just told me. And so I had this in my brain and I struggled with what do I do with this information? Right. Do I go to leadership and tell them, hey, she's working two full time jobs? No, then I look like the rat, the bad guy, because she has the job that I want. Right. She's getting paid more. She's full time. So even after deployment of the electronic health care record system, when I get let go, she stays on. She has a full time job. And I just felt like it really put me in a no-win position because either I go forward and I tell them what's going on and I look like a hero, or I go forward and tell them what's going on and I look like someone that's a rat and can't be trusted with information. So I made the decision to just sit on it. I didn't know for sure that was true. She could have been talking out her butt. She could have been setting me up to see if I'm trustworthy. I don't know. Whatever it was, I decided to hang on to it. And I talked to my best friend Blair about it and I told him the situation I'm in. And he agreed with me that probably best not to go forward with it and just hang on to the information because I don't know that for sure. So that's what I did. And then after about, I don't know, a week to two of knowing this information, I don't remember the exact timeline. Our supervisor wanted to write her up for bad performance and He's a retired military NCO and she was a black girl. And so when he tried to write her up instead of accepting the write-up because she was not completing your work and getting it done on time and she should have just accepted it, she decided, no, I'm going to fight back. I'm going to go to HR. I'm going to say you're racist and you're only doing this to me because I'm a black girl. And she said this to me and she asked me if I would support her. And I said, what do you have to support that information? Oh, I've talked to other black girls on the team in other parts of the country that do this job. And they too said that he has written them up and he has caused problems for them. And so he's just racist, right? And so just like I can't verify whether or not she had a second job. I also can't verify if that information's true. And I liked our supervisor. He seemed like a good dude to me, not someone who was a headhunter. They hired her in the first place and they knew she was a black woman. The interview for their job was a video interview. So I just couldn't imagine that was the case. It just didn't make sense to me based on everything that I had in front of me. It didn't smell the common sense test. She does that. And a day or two later, I get a call from HR and they said, this is what's going on. You work with her side by side. We want to know your take. What do you think? And so I said, I don't really see. Him being that way, he doesn't seem like that type of guy to me, but I don't know. People surprise you. But all I can say is this, and this is really all I have to say on the subject. If I were you, I would call her old, her previous employer and see if she still works there. That's it. See if she still works at her previous employer. That's all I can say. If she does, maybe that's why she's not getting the work done. And he said to me, the HR guy said to me, if she does, that's fraud. She's it's in the contract. You can't have any other job without our permission, except this job. And I said, there you go. So that's something for you to look into because I don't know. And so that was the end of that story. And then the next night or the same night, I guess they looked into it. They fired her. And then the next morning they offered me the job. They said, Hey, we think you're doing a great job so far. How would you like her role, you know, that role? And I said, yeah, that would be great. I'd love to do it. I said, also, however, I understand she made more money than me and I want to make the salary she was making. I feel like I've earned it and I deserve it and you know, I'm worth it. And so. They hemmed and hawed a little bit on the phone directly, but then they came back and they gave me a contract and offered me the job at her salary. So just like that, I got about a$20,000 pay raise overnight and a permanent full-time job in the healthcare field. And so again, I just felt like, My life was going my way. It was finally picking back up again. My health was better. I was getting in much better shape working out. And now I had a permanent full-time consulting role with the most pay I've ever had in my life from one job. I've been paid more from back when I worked at NCI and I had that job, but I also was training Tony. So when you combine the two pay, I was getting paid a little better than NCI or the new job. But as for one job goes, it's the most I've been paid. So I was excited and I was looking forward to it and things were on looking on the up and up. Switching gears while all that's happening back home in my personal life, my girlfriend is just getting more and more insecure is one thing more aggressive with her like tone and behavior about our relationship and where it's going and you know how she didn't think I was her type. She didn't know why I was with her. If I really loved her, I would have asked her to marry me by now and all those things. And I was only a month and a half, two months into my new job. And it was just turning into fights. My initial thought process was I'm going to take care of her. I'm going to pay her back for what she's done for me for the last couple of years. And she's going to be rewarded for being someone who helped me when I was down. And that was totally my thought process. I had no thoughts in ending the relationship, no thoughts in saying, all right, thank you. I used you, bye, because I didn't feel that way at all. Loyalty is important to me. Being thankful to someone who you needed in a moment of toughness. is also important to me and is part of the reason I stayed with DSI and stayed unemployed for so long because when I was at NCI and I was driving three hours a day, I needed a new job to get out of that drive. And DSI saved me. They helped me get out of that situation. And so when the contract was coming to an end, instead of jumping ship to Raytheon for a lower paying but more permanent job i didn't want to do it a because yeah it paid less but b more importantly i felt like i owed it to nci to stick it out the vice president rob was really pleading with me to stay there and finish out the contract and i felt i needed to do that i felt it was the right thing to do and so that was the same situation for this relationship right it wasn't perfect A lot of things about her behavior made me question her just as a human being. Yeah, she did nice things, but she was also really nasty and ugly when she got upset. She did things that are just to me, not the way you behave when you're in a relationship. I knew. Unless something changed or was different. She was right. She wasn't someone I was going to marry, but also she wasn't someone I was just going to use and then walk away when I got on my feet again. She kept pushing the envelope. One day we got in such a nasty fight where we were screaming at each other and saying things to each other. And she went to the point of telling me I'm going to Have you killed? Right. And she's from Mexico and she's look, I know people in the cartel and I can have you killed and I'm going to have you killed. And she threatened to kill me. And I called the sheriff department and they came and they did enough to break up a fight and an argument. And they did enough to say, look, if we get called to this house again for YouTube arguing that we're going to arrest both of you. So they didn't, they had no desire to be fair. They didn't care that she threatened my life. They didn't care about any of that. They just wanted to end a situation. So we continue to live together for the next few days, avoiding each other. And I was planning on getting on my feet financially, which I wasn't quite yet. It had only been less than two months. I had debts to pay from breaking the lease when I had moved out of my old apartment to move in with her because I didn't have the money anymore. So I'd broken a lease and I owed them$3,000. I just had to do some things before I was able to leave and get on my own and she just didn't care. Right? Her nasty, evil. volatile side came out and she had gone to the courthouse unbeknownst to me filed a restraining order against me even though i never threatened her with anything she's the one that threatened my life and she just flat out lied lied and said that she didn't feel comfortable with me or secure with me and she felt like her life was in danger which was total bullshit and i she's The lowest of low human beings in the world. She's not the first to do it. The mother of my two sons, she did the same thing. It's just amazing to me how women can be so kind and caring and loving, but also just the nastiest human beings on earth. Yeah, I know men kill women. I get it. Men beat women. I get it. But I'm not those men. I don't do those things. Never laid a hand on a woman. never threatened to none of those things and yet they just do me so dirty it's appalling to me the accusations the the things that they say when they're trying to get their way and they're basically done with you and you go in the snap of the finger from being someone That they love so much. Couldn't see living a life without you. I can't live without you. Two, oh, snap my finger. Boom. I hate you with all my guts. You're dead to me. I'm going to try to ruin your life. And now this is now the second time this has happened to me with two relationships in a row, essentially. And yeah, I just couldn't believe that this was being done. Because she didn't have the authority to kick me out, she kept telling me she wanted me out to get out. And I said, I will. I need a couple weeks to get on my feet. And she kept saying, I can't look at you for a couple more weeks. And so she went the dirty way. She got a restraining order and had me removed from the home. And I had to rely on some friends to help me out so I could pay down the debt. that I had and then put down a deposit to live somewhere new and get back on my feet again. And that's how that relationship ended. And it was ugly and it was gross and it was disgusting, just like my divorce. And again, I didn't deserve this treatment. I don't understand why people can't be logical adults and realize if something's over. That you can do it civilly and you can call it a day and life goes on. They have to be nasty. They have to be ugly. And Lily was definitely that. She was nasty and she was ugly. And she was the most immature woman I had ever been with. And she was also the oldest woman I had ever been with. She was just two years younger than me. So she was in her mid forties. And she acted like a teenager and it was pathetic. And I don't know if all Latinos are that way, but I certainly wasn't going to find out again. That ended, but everything else in my life was going well. The job was going well. My health was getting better. I had to live in a hotel for a week or so. And then I did find a nice two story, three bedroom home to rent. So I could now give my kids a home of their own with just me. And everything was looking up. Everything was moving on and moving forward. And that's where I'm going to stop for now. And that's where I will pick up on the next episode. So thanks for joining.