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Brandon Held - Life is Crazy
I Host 2 Podcasts. Life Is Crazy and The Buckeye Battle Cry Show. The Life Is Crazy podcast is designed to help with suicide prevention. That is the #1 goal! This is also a Podcast of perseverance, self-help, self-Improvement, becoming a better person, making it through struggles and not only surviving, but thriving! In this Podcast the first 25 episodes detail my life's downs and ups. A story that shows you can overcome poverty, abusive environments, drug and alcoholic environments, difficult bosses, being laid-off from work, losing your family, and being on the brink of suicide. Listen and find a place to share life stories and experiences. Allow everyone to learn from each other to reinforce our place in this world. To grow and be better people and help build a better more understanding society.
The early podcast episodes are a story of the journey of my life. The start from poor, drug and alcohol stricken life, to choices that lead to success. Discusses my own suicide ideations and attempt that I struggled with for most of my life. Being raised by essentially only my mother with good intentions, but didn't know how to teach me to be a man. About learning life's lessons and how to become a man on this journey and sharing those lessons and experiences with others whom hopefully can benefit from my successes and failures.
Hosting guests who have overcome suicide attempts/suicide ideations/trauma/hardships/difficult situations to fight through it, rise up, and live their best life. Real life stories to help others that are going through difficult times or stuck without a path forward, understand and learn there is a path forward.
The Buckeye Battle Cry Show is a weekly show about the greatest sport in the world, college football, and specializing in discussing the greatest team in the world, THE Ohio State Buckeyes,
Want to be a guest on Brandon Held - Life is Crazy? Send Brandon Held a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/brandonheld
Brandon Held - Life is Crazy
Episode 70: How Carissa Halonen Turned Pain into Discipline, Love, and Leadership
We trace Carissa’s journey from a vigilant, compliant childhood to a life built on micro-habits, emotional honesty, and real service. From obesity to bodybuilding, from massage therapy to mindset coaching, and into step-parenting after loss, the throughline is small changes that compound.
• childhood shaped by compliance and hyper-independence
• psychology and massage training, contracting and overseas practice
• on-field medical judgment and learning to trust instincts
• emotional eating, weight gain, and the mindset shift to lose 60 pounds
• journaling, consistent training, and compassionate self-talk
• bodybuilding goals, triggers, and patient progress
• love after loss, stepmom role, and keeping space for mom’s memory
• communication as a daily skill, not a slogan
• pivot to online mindset coaching using fitness and nutrition
• confidence, presence, and how physique changes social dynamics
• practical advice: start micro, stack habits, compound identity
People can come to Instagram, either Carissa Halonen or the.relentless.couple. If you send me a DM saying, Brandon, I have a habit tracker that I can give you as a thank you for listening, but also I'm in the DMs answering any questions you have or anything that you want to share.
go to my website, brandandhell.com, and please at the top of the page, click to subscribe to podcasts and subscribe to my podcast if you haven't already. And also follow me on Instagram at BH_life is crazy, and let me know that you're following me from my podcast, and I will follow you back in return
Subscribe to Brandon Held's podcast at brandonheld.com for just $10 a month to support his mission of helping trauma survivors and those struggling through difficult times.
Developed by a team of Practitioners, men's health scientists, neuroscientists and peak performers. MNLY harnesses the power of blood analysis, machine learning, and AI to evaluate data from four essential components: Biological, Environmental, Nutritional, and Clinical analysis. By leveraging this advanced technology, we develop precise, evidence-based solutions that are tailored uniquely to each individual.
Their supplements have been developed by a team of Practitioners, men's health scientists, neuroscientists and peak performers. MNLY harnesses the power of blood analysis, machine learning, and AI to evaluate data from four essential components: Biological, Environmental, Nutritional, and Clinical analysis. By leveraging this advanced technology, they develop precise, evidence-based solutions that are tailored uniquely to each individual.
https://www.getmnly.com/
Welcome back to Brandon Held Life is Crazy. And I'm super excited today about my guest, Carissa. We have previously met, and I really wanted to get her on the show because she has a pretty great art life story. I think that I find it interesting, what I know so far, and I can't wait to dig in and get all the details and find the rest out. And so, how are you doing today, Chris?
SPEAKER_02:I'm excited to be here, Brandon.
SPEAKER_00:Great. I'm excited to have you as well. So just a little bit about you transforming obstacles into fuel for growth, self-mastery, and being of service through daily habits, positive mindset, mental fortitude, and relentlessly striving for better. And I love all those things because I do all those things and I have been trying to most of my adult life. So I really love that's what you're about. But if you could just please tell everyone else a little bit more about yourself.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely. So I'm like everybody else in the sense of life has been a roller coaster to me. And the things that I've navigated with obesity and alcoholism, and now being a step parent to children with trauma, I've had to learn to either you get to have that victim mentality or you get to overcome and learn things as you go so that you can not use the hand that you've been dealt in life as your excuse to not get better, but as the reminder that the things that we didn't grow up with, we have the ability to learn along the way. So I have really pursued self-growth to get through every obstacle that's been in my way and not just let it define me and then my story end there and play out my days as victims.
SPEAKER_00:Well, what a great attitude. I really respect and appreciate that. First of all, let me just say it's hard to imagine you as being obese. Like you're so thin and you're so fit, and I'm huge into fitness myself. So I really love, respect, and appreciate people that are fit because I know the dedication that it takes to do it. You have to show up every day, you have to make tough decisions, even when it just comes to putting food in your mouth and things like that. So I really respect that. And so what I want to do is what we do here on Life is Crazy. And we I just want to start from the beginning with you. So just tell everybody like what your childhood was like, both good and bad, if there is bad, and how that shaped who you became as a young adult.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, absolutely. I'm gonna preface this by now that I'm old enough to look back, I can see that every all parents are people. And my childhood was so very challenging. My mom came from an abusive um background with her mother, and she did better with us, but it was still, you know, we learned how to be compliant children. We didn't learn how to have a voice, we didn't have emotional regulation because none of that was actually demonstrated. I learned how to be the person to read the room because then I would be able to navigate um the evenings a little bit less violently, right? If I knew how to get everybody's chores done or what kind of mood my mom was in when I got home, I would be able to navigate without either being spanked, grounded, sent to my room, all of those things. And my dad was a workaholic, he works in the oil field and was always working. So it was really us four girls. And being the middle of two kids, it was interesting dynamic because sometimes we'd be working well with each other, but a lot of times it was me against everybody else because I was the one trying to be the good girl and get everything done so that it could be a safe environment because it really didn't feel like a safe environment growing up, right? And so I just had to navigate life to the best of my ability. So I feel like I really grew up really quickly and didn't really have a childhood because I was parenting the parents kind of thing.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and of course, any of us as adults talking about our childhood, it's a retrospective, retroactive look, right? We know things now that we didn't realize then, even after our early childhood, we didn't realize how it affected us so much. I went through the same things with my mom. I used to even joke on my way home from school, like, which mom am I going to get today? Am I gonna get the cool, chill mom? Oh, everything's fine, have fun, or am I gonna get the stressed out one that's just bitching at me as soon as I walk in the door? You know, I totally understand what you're saying there. I'm the oldest of three, so I had the oldest child perspective from being in charge and trying to make sure things were done right because that stuff fell on me. Middle child syndrome, though. Do you feel like you had that when you first became a young adult? I know a lot of middle children feel invisible, right? Like they the oldest got their respect for being the oldest, and the baby is the baby. So do you feel like you had any of that going on?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, but not the typical way. Like I became hyper independent because I felt unseen and unheard, and I didn't really fit with my sisters. My older sister and younger sister had very similar mentalities, party girls, all of that stuff. I essentially just felt like I was my own island island. So I was just that hyper independent. I didn't, you know, I didn't wait for people to do stuff, and I didn't blame that. I just got stuff done because I'm like, well, you know, I can't rely on anybody. So it's just mine to create.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I mean, a lot of people don't, a lot of people are blaming it without knowing they're blaming it, right? Like they don't they know that they feel invisible or they don't feel like they're getting the same attention, but they don't really necessarily know why or how that's affecting them. So I didn't know if retroactively you could see that. So, in a way, yes, because you were hyper-independent and you got things done. All right. Anything else to cover there in your childhood?
SPEAKER_02:Well, I think like my dad worked overseas for a period of time too. So it was just like really realizing that A, there's a bigger world out there, and B, that the support system wasn't there. Because when my dad was gone at work, then my mom had a harder time and struggled more, and it became more of an unstable environment for us to be in. So it really did shape how I moved through the rest of my life to this point.
SPEAKER_00:So you get done with school, young school, and you're now 18. And where do you go from there?
SPEAKER_02:From there, I went into doing psychology for a year. Um, I did about a year and a half of studying it for psychology in total. I went to Calgary for a bit and then back to Grand Prairie. Um, but it wasn't like life was just being very um resistant. So when I decided, okay, I'm actually going to go into massage instead, because those were both my loves when I was younger, psychology and uh massage therapy, I got accepted into every program I applied to for massage. So then I went and I did an accelerated program of two years down into 18 months to get my uh diploma in massage therapy.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, so they have a diploma in Canada for massage therapy. I mean, you have to get certified here, but I don't know if they call it a diploma. I that's not really my world. Um, and so has is that what you have been doing ever since then?
SPEAKER_02:Um up until about two years ago, I was a massage therapist full-time and then I bridged into doing mindset coaching with people online. But I actually love people puzzles.
SPEAKER_00:All right. So during your years of massage therapy, what was your life like then? Let's go through that.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely. So when I graduated, I became a uh contractor. So I ran my own company from the time I was 21 up till today.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, nice.
SPEAKER_02:I contracted to chiropractors at first. I was there for three years in that clinic before I moved overseas and started practicing overseas with uh massage. I was in uh Scotland, then I went to Australia after I got a random job offer. And then I came back to Canada for a couple years and I had my own practice. I preferred clinical practice versus just relaxation. So again, I love people puzzles, how somebody's mind is working really shows up in their body and how that allows them to do things or not do things, and just being able to get people back into their bodies and really realign with themselves drove me for almost 18 years in my profession.
SPEAKER_00:Wow, that's really cool. And what was your favorite part of overseas?
SPEAKER_02:I had the opportunity to be a part of an Aussie Rules football team, an amateur one in Australia. And those guys are crazy. I had four situations where it was actually like a life or death with one of them. The guy ruptured his bowels, and I was on the field to call it and be like, no, we have to send him to the hospital and fought against the coach and the physio because they were like, No, he's fine. I'm like, he's not, and the only reason he's actually here today is because I was stubborn enough to be like, no, this is not good, he's not allowed back on, he has to go. And he walked like they took him to emerge and immediately went for surgery.
SPEAKER_00:That's gotta feel good.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, in hindsight, I'm just like, Well, actually, that was a pretty big thing compared to that. Like, nah, actually, like, go, you can't play.
SPEAKER_00:No, I mean, that's a big deal. That's something, yeah. This is you know, something at the time. So I was in seventh grade, so I was I must have been, I think, 12 years old, and I was eating lunch with a friend, and he's sitting across from me and he's looking at me, and all of a sudden his face is turning beat red, and I'm like, oh crap, he can't breathe. So I noticed that. I'm looking around, right? Because I was a I was timid as a younger child, and so I was looking around and I was like, shit, no teachers around here. So I just got behind him and started doing what I thought was the Heimlich because I really didn't know what else to do. And eventually it worked, like he ends up spitting this chip like out of his mouth across the table, and I saved his life, and that was like that's always always stuck with me, and I think a lot of it is just because I was just a really timid, quiet person. So saving a life, big deal.
SPEAKER_01:It is anyway.
SPEAKER_00:That's what you made me think of. I've never told anyone that story, really. So I think it's cool when I'm on a podcast and I'm saying something for the first time that I've never said before because I talk about my whole life all the time, and then you bring something up that I never thought of. So, I mean, you were talking about challenges, so let's talk about some things you haven't really included, right? So you said you were obese at some point. So tell us how that came about. How did that happen?
SPEAKER_02:When I was younger, I was a dancer. So I wasn't I was never the teeny tiny build of a dancer, I was your average athletic, pubescent size. But when I stopped dancing when I was 20 and when I was going to university, I didn't realize it, but I was eating my feelings. I didn't know how to cope or face the feelings that I had because it wasn't demonstrated, and I didn't realize I was using food to um feel better, right?
SPEAKER_00:And which is twice as bad. I don't know if you know that, but your body responds to food and the way it takes it in and the way it uses it based on how you're feeling, even emotionally. So that's twice as bad.
SPEAKER_02:Exactly. So I went from being about 130 pounds to 195, is where I maxed out at.
SPEAKER_00:Wow.
SPEAKER_02:And I hated myself. I hated that that's what I looked like, I hated that's how I felt, I hated that I was a young adult and I didn't want to be intimate with my partner because I didn't want to be seen naked. It was one of those things that I'm like, how in the world did I get here? And I tried diet pills and I tried limiting my calories and doing more punishing things, like walking and all of those things as a way to punish the fact that I was overweight. And it actually took until I graduated from Massar School for me to put together it was an emotional thing because I graduated and I was at my highest, and then I got a job that I wanted in the place that I wanted. So I moved back to Calgary with my new job. I had an apartment and I was excited. I'd been working for about a month when our clinic flooded, and so I went to my grandparents for 10 days because we had to close the clinic to do some repair work. And I brought my summer clothes and put them on and they didn't fit. They were actually too big.
SPEAKER_00:Wow.
SPEAKER_02:I'm like, what happened? Like I haven't anything, but I'm like, I am happy. My focus is on treating my patients, building a good reputation as a massage therapist, and I'm excited for the place that I was working at. And that's when I'm like, oh man, how I feel has a huge impact on my weight. I wasn't looking for those quick fixes because I was treating patients and seeing results and all of that. And so when I realized I lost weight without even trying, then I doubled down and like, hey, I'm gonna go to the gym, I'm gonna get a trainer, and that momentum started to actually work because it was the emotional component that I had never considered was the cause.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So first of all, I want to tell you I really respect your, I guess, boldness, braveness. I don't know what word I want to use, but for being honest, I guess, about saying how just miserable you were at 195 pounds, right? I mean, we live in a world now where we accept everyone no matter what they look like, or we're supposed to. I'm not saying everyone does, but you should. And then a lot of people want to deny honesty, right? Uh when some people are heavy and they don't want to be honest that they're unhappy being heavy because maybe they don't want to do the work, whatever the case is. So I really respect that you are honest about your size and how much you hated it and how much it bothered you. When you started doubling down and getting on your journey to feeling like a better you, because let's be honest, when you're health, when you're physically fit and you know you're in good shape and you're eating healthy, it also greatly affects your mental health and how you just feel in general. What path did you take to get to where you are today?
SPEAKER_02:Well, it's an ever-evolving path. So the first one is I started with going to the gym and I was consistent. I went three days a week because I hadn't been to the gym before that. And it was enough of a start, and being a massage therapist, you're in a very physically demanding job. So it's always been about. And you know, it took iterations, it took me about a year to lose those 60 pounds again. And it by the time our golf tournament for this company I worked for came around the next year and I made the poster to get the clients to come. My boss is like, Who is that girl? I'm like, What do you mean? And he pointed to a picture of me from the year before. I'm like, that's me. And he's like, Oh wait, yeah, but it because I was consistent, I was, you know, I realized that okay, the junk food was not the best option, and I had to be nicer to myself and you know, actually do emotional work. So journaling more and using workout, the movement to actually work through my emotions got me to a place where I felt excited about everything in life and who I was becoming because I felt more like myself and my body again.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, first of all, 60 pounds in a year is incredible. I was a personal trainer for over 15 years and I helped a couple men lose over a hundred pounds, but it took two years to do that. So 60 pounds in a year is really incredible. So it shows when you put your mind to something and you're determined to do something, you really do it, and that's awesome and respectable. Also, I have seen your before and after pictures on your Instagram. So I identify with your boss because you are unrecognizable. I would not if I saw the before you, I'd have no idea that the after you is the same person if you didn't have those side by side. So let me ask you this. Do you have currently do you have or does your husband or anyone tell you that you have any type of uh body dysmorphia? So let me let me tell you why I asked that question. So I grew up skinny, right? Thin, six foot one, I would weigh anywhere between 150 to 170 pounds on average, right? And it was always skinny, and now I'm up to 235, 240. And my wife tells me when I'm like, oh my god, look at that guy, he's huge. Look how strong he is, look how big his backers are. And my wife goes, uh, that's you. Like, what are you? You're the same size. What are you talking about? And I'm like, so I always see myself smaller and skinnier than I am. Do you have any of that going on?
SPEAKER_02:Uh not as much. Like, I've definitely had to have conversations because I'm, you know, doing bodybuilding these days of like wanting to have more muscle and not necessarily seeing the little bit of progress that's coming in. My husband's like, uh, nope, this has changed. That's changed. Like, I know that I have a trigger if I feel like I'm putting on too much weight, and that's a mental battle I have with in bodybuilding. You have to put on a little bit of soft tissue and fluff to be able to grow muscle, especially for females. Um, but I definitely work with myself and like I'm not the same person, it's not the same mindset that I have, and there's a purpose behind what's coming on. It's not just because I'm not facing my life anymore. But it's definitely there's a little bit of hesitation when all of a sudden it feels like the scale's going in the wrong direction.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that makes sense. That's kind of what I was talking about too. And I didn't know if maybe you saw yourself sometimes being, I don't know, bigger than what you really are, like the opposite body dysmorphia that I have, according to my wife. I don't really agree with her, but whatever, that's what she says. All right. So then let's talk about your current situation. So you met your now husband, and he and his kids went through some trauma, and you also you obviously have to work through that and be a part of that as well. So why don't you tell that story?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Um, we were introduced shortly after his first wife had unexpectedly passed away. And so when I A realized there was kids involved, and B realized there was such a traumatic event for them, I was really adamant that the boys kind of got a say, whether or not they wanted me around. And when we would go out, um, the boys would get to debrief with dad on their own and say whether or not they wanted to spend time with me because I'm like, this is a hard enough situation. If they were not on board, no matter how much I care about this person, it will never work. But luckily, they were on my side. The youngest one asked Tyler at one point, he's like, Dad, when are you going to grow some big thick nuts and ask her to be three or four best friends at that point? And this guy was eight, and he's asking to this day. And so he's like, I guess I'm gonna have to ask you to be my girlfriend officially, then. Right. So I like I believe I'm the person for the job in the sense of I've done enough self-development that you have to be able to step back. There has to be room for their mom in this environment for it to actually go well because it's really important for their healing and their life going forward to be able to talk openly about their mom without me being offended that she's being brought up. So we've learned how to actually have space for five people in this family. And I'm very proud of the boys because it takes a lot of capacity and that at their young ages to have room in their heart for somebody else when they really wish that just their mom was here. So it's been a really big source of growth for me, seeing where I needed to grow up a little bit and where I was sharing the tendencies my mom had for a bit of being narcissistic in the sense of things had to be a particular way, but understanding that that's what I used to be safe as a kid. So, really, just it's an incredible opportunity to grow and just have a partnership that's unlike anything I've had before. It's very weird when you now have a safe relationship when no other relationship has been safe before, the unbecoming you have to do. All those old habits and defense mechanisms show their head, and then that work to undo them. So it is ever evolving.
SPEAKER_00:Well, first of all, what a lucky man. He found the right person for sure, because your attitude about all of it, even just from the beginning. I have sons, right? And I've had to date post-divorce, not death, but divorce. And nobody has had that kind of compassion for how my sons feel. Do they want this person in my life? I mean, of course, they want them to like them and all that, but it wasn't this well, let me give them space to decide if they want me to be a part of their life or not. So that's incredible of you. And then secondly, I know the women I've been with in the past in a marriage with her, and my sons were around and they wanted to talk about their mom, they wouldn't have been able to handle that. They would have had jealousy, they would have felt things that would have been difficult and tough. So, and I'm not saying it's smooth for you. I mean, you probably have your own times where it's a little tougher for you, but at least your mindset is right. I want to give you compliments for that as well.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, thank you. And you're absolutely correct. There are definitely times where I have to check myself and be like, it's not because it's a jealousy thing, it's literally because they missed their mom. Or like I've at least had the opportunity with my husband to have open conversations and be like, okay, is that a comparative thing? Are you comparing me to her, or is this just a conversation? And the fact that he allows me that space without getting mad, because it is a lot to navigate. And so I'm really grateful for him knowing that it's like, no, I need to ask this question so I know how to navigate this. Because I'm like, if it is comparative, then that's a conversation. But if it's not, then I can navigate that with more ease because now I just get my ego out of the way.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I know this is talked about to death when people say, Oh, what's the key to a great relationship? Right. And then everyone says communication. And that's such a generic term, communication, right? And so that that is a prime example of what communication means in your relationship, right? The be the ability to talk about something that is not easy to talk about, it's difficult, but be able to stay uh calm and peaceful and not let emotions win the day. So that's a great example of great communication for a relationship.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it's something we work at because you know, we both had previous experiences and how our parents raised us and their communication styles. And it's the one thing that I know didn't work in a lot of my other relationships. And like, so we have to have communication, even if it's something we have to build together, we won't work. And this scenario doesn't work if there isn't communication because we also have to teach the boys how to communicate and how to communicate how they feel about the loss of their mom at all times because it's gonna feel different, and if they can't name it, they're gonna try and avoid it later.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Wow, yeah, what a situation to be in. And I also wanted to pick back up on the learning old bad habits thing. I had always been in I'm three times divorced, and all three of those previous marriages were toxic fights, they were toxic arguments, and so I didn't used to be that way, but those relationships taught me that when we started fighting, I had to defend myself and fight back, which was a terrible thing to have to learn. And then when I got married to my current wife, she wasn't like that, but I was carrying that old behavior into this marriage, and I had to learn to stop doing that. And I found myself apologizing, like all these are just old habits that I need to quit. And eventually I did, but it definitely did carry over into this relationship. So I understand what you're saying about that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, absolutely. Well, and good job on recognizing that it wasn't from her and making the shift so that it's no longer a part of the current scenario.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, thanks. It's good for any. I feel like anyone that recognizes and identifies that previous past things are creating their current behavior and they have to fix that or change it, no matter what it is. That's everyone deserves kudos for making those improvements and doing those things. How are things going for you guys today? What's your bodybuilding and you switch careers from God? I cannot talk. Your bodybuilding and you switch careers from massage. What are you doing today?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, so I love to keep challenging myself in fitness-wise. So I decided that I was doing uh my first ever bikini competition.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, nice.
SPEAKER_02:Like a coach to do that is terrifying. I don't like people, let alone being in the sparkly bikinis. Um, but it's something that you know, if you're not going to do something that scares you on all levels, what are you actually doing?
SPEAKER_00:Um is that why you're doing it? Just to push yourself to do something you wouldn't normally do.
SPEAKER_02:A hundred percent. That's brave.
SPEAKER_00:I give you credit.
SPEAKER_02:I don't want to do more than one because I'm just like, this is enough. Um, but I love fitness. So I'm like, okay, how do I challenge myself more? I've done the photo shoots, I've done the different things with my husband. We've done photo shoots together to kind of keep us our momentum forward and our fitness journey. It's nice to have a goal to work towards. So I'm like, all right, this is a big audacious goal. Let's do it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Right. And then bridging from massage happened when I moved here. I relocated when I was engaged. And so I left my practice and I was planning to restart it up when I got here. And we physically built the building it's in from the ground up. So I was a carpenter's apprentice for a year with my father-in-law. And in that time, I realized I'm like, I really want to help more people. And massaging, you're only helping one person per hour, so you're really limited to the impact you get to have, even though you get to have an impact. So then we came across coaching from one of my mentors that was coaching me. He's like, you guys would be really good coaches. And I went through the process of a year and a half mentoring with him and learning his methods and starting to do social media stuff. So now I offer online mindset coaching for people and use fitness and nutrition as a tool to help them with their mindset to be able to transform from the inside out and start building a life that they didn't think possible.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, what a great tool it is. And let me be an advocate for what you're doing. I will tell a story about how I transform. Transform someone's life the same way. And I wasn't life coaching him. So I was working out at the gym one day. This was many years ago, like 20 years ago. And this heavy set guy comes up to me and he says, Hey, I don't really know anything about working out. Would you be willing to train me? And I'm like, What? He's like, Yeah, you look good. Look at what you're doing. I don't know what you're doing, but you're doing some stuff right. And he's like, You look good. I want to look like you. And I said, Man, I've never trained people before, but yeah, I'm up for the challenge. I would like to do that. And I said, But if you want me to do this, you have to A be consistent and promise you'll show up because if you don't, then it's not going to work. And I said, You're gonna have to be eat how I tell you to eat. You can't, you can't just eat whatever you want. You have to eat how I tell you to eat. And he was like, No problem, I'm all in, right? And so here I was, just I wasn't a trainer, so we were just meeting, working out like buddies, and I was setting him up with uh how he should eat, and then I would set up the workouts every time we worked out, and about 18 months later, maybe a little longer, he had transformed. He lost his big belly, he had these guns of an arm I was jealous of because they were like twice the size of mine, and I was the one training him. And he just comes to me that day and he says, Brandon, I have to tell you something. He said, I'm a sheriff, I knew he was a sheriff, and he said, When I went to work, my co-workers would treat me like shit, you know, they would shit on me, they would make fun of me, and it was awful. I hated my job, and now my co-workers treat me with respect, they look up to me, and he said, and when in my marriage, my wife would call me fat, she'd call me a piece of shit, she'd say mean things to me, and now, like, my wife lets me run the household. I'm the boss basically. Now she does whatever I ask her to, and he said, 'You have completely changed my life in so many ways.' He said, I could never do enough to thank you, and that conversation right there was like that made all that 18 months of work prior to that worth it and more because that's something I'll never forget how I changed this guy's life. So I only say all that because I know what you're doing works. I'm endorsing what you're doing.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and that's the thing that people don't realize is the amount of respect that you command when you show up with a nice physique.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:It's instant. You walk into a room and you engage the room from awe and a respect point, because even if people are shitting on you, it's because they can see that effort. Your body becomes your walking resume, and it is something people cannot take away from you. And how you feel on the inside is actually the biggest reward because you feel so good and proud of the person that you're presenting to the world, you show up so differently, and that's really what I try to impart on people. I'm like, you'll know it when you feel it in yourselves, until then you just have to believe what I'm telling you because that will get you there.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you'll walk talk taller, you'll stand upright more, you'll hold your head up, and just that alone, people see you differently when you walk with that confidence, right? But also when you do have that physique and you do have that difference that everyone can see, it does matter. I had gotten out of shape once because I was so focused on work and my health was declining, and I had lost my whole physique, and I kind of saw people treated me completely differently. Um, and it probably some of it was in my head too, because my confidence was down and I wasn't feeling as great about myself. But I definitely noticed that when I got back into shape and got back up to where I used to be and more, I was treated differently again. And I could see the respect and adoration I more got from people after that. So it a hundred percent makes a difference.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:All right, I think we've covered everything, right? Did we miss anything?
SPEAKER_02:I don't think so.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, we burned through that pretty fast, or at least it felt fast to me. So, Carissa, I always ask people this thing at the end of the podcast, and this is if you had one big piece of advice to give people, what would you say?
SPEAKER_02:Start micro, but start. Start with one simple change because it is a big grand lie to change everything all at once. It is a recipe to fail and fail in a way that reinforces self-sabotage, self-fail your belief. So starting with one simple thing, get up 15 minutes earlier, do those 10 extra steps in a day or squats, have one healthy meal. Whatever that one thing you choose for yourself, stay consistent with it. And then when that feels like it's no longer needing to be thought about and it becomes a habit, pick something else. And if you do that in a year, you're gonna make a hundred different changes and you will become unrecognizable by the end of the year because you made a micro change that you stuck with.
SPEAKER_00:Great advice. I mean, obviously you went through it, you lived it yourself, and now you're showing others how to do it, and that's great. People need to learn that, so that's very awesome and respectful that you're doing that for people.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you. It is a pleasure to be able to guide people.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's a great feeling for sure. I want to thank you for being on my show today. And how can people get in touch with you if they want to learn the Carissa method for changing their life?
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely. Um, thank you for creating this platform to be able to have these conversations. It is much needed. You're welcome. People get uh people can come to Instagram, either Carissa Halinen or the dot relentless dot couple. I'm on both of those platforms. And if you send me a DM saying, Brandon, I have a habit tracker that I can give you as a thank you for listening, but also I'm in the DMs answering any questions you have or anything that you want to share. I'm such an advocate of having a community as you transform so you don't feel alone.
SPEAKER_00:Awesome. So I will put your Instagram in the text of this podcast. So I will have that there available for people so they can reach out to you and get your help if they so desire. I hope people do, even if for nothing else, just to go to your Instagram and see your before and after pictures. They're incredible. You're unrecognizable, literally, you're unrecognizable. Great job. And for me, I want to say go to my website, brandandhell.com, and please at the top of the page, click to subscribe to podcasts and subscribe to my podcast if you haven't already. And show me some love and support for the show because we're trying to help people here, and that's the whole purpose of this podcast. I'm not here to make money, I'm not here to get rich, I'm just here to help other people, and that's what I want to do. And also follow me on Instagram at bh underscore life is crazy, and let me know that you're following me from my podcast, and I will follow you back in return. And so this has been Brandon Held, Life is Crazy, and I'll talk to you next time.
