Brandon Held - Life is Crazy

Episode 71: From Amish Roots to Human Design Leadership with Emily Adams

• Brandon Held • Season 3 • Episode 71

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We follow Emily Adams from an Amish childhood to a life built on courage, education, movement, and leadership. She shares how grief sparked an escape, how lifting rebuilt her mind, and how human design now grounds the way she helps leaders work with their energy.

• Amish culture myths vs lived reality
• fear-based rules, judgment, and gender control
• the decision to leave and identity shock
• coerced marriage, custody battles, finding her voice
• GED to Purdue, learning by doing in manufacturing
• strategy and morale work in automotive
• powerlifting as therapy, movement for mental health
• spiritual awakening, coaching path, human design
• the business model, offers, and rebrand
• core advice: never stop discovering who you are

Visit her website https://transformativeleadershipllc.com/ 

Please go to brandonheld.com and click on subscribe subscribe to podcasts at the top of the page
If you click on my link and join podmatch.com, basically I get a little kickback for you joining under my name
Check that out and go to getmanly.com without the A


Developed by a team of Practitioners, men's health scientists, neuroscientists and peak performers. MNLY harnesses the power of blood analysis, machine learning, and AI to evaluate data from four essential components: Biological, Environmental, Nutritional, and Clinical analysis. By leveraging this advanced technology, we develop precise, evidence-based solutions that are tailored uniquely to each individual.

Their supplements have been developed by a team of Practitioners, men's health scientists, neuroscientists and peak performers. MNLY harnesses the power of blood analysis, machine learning, and AI to evaluate data from four essential components: Biological, Environmental, Nutritional, and Clinical analysis. By leveraging this advanced technology, they develop precise, evidence-based solutions that are tailored uniquely to each individual.



Their supplements have been developed by a team of Practitioners, men's health scientists, neuroscientists and peak performers. MNLY harnesses the power of blood analysis, machine learning, and AI to evaluate data from four essential components: Biological, Environmental, Nutritional, and Clinical analysis. By leveraging this advanced technology, they develop precise, evidence-based solutions that are tailored uniquely to each individual.

https://www.getmnly.com/ 

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SPEAKER_02:

Welcome back to Brandon Held Life is Crazy. Thanks for joining us today. As always, I have another fantastic guest with us today. And I'm very excited to talk to her and hear her story and her journey in life and how she started from where she started and ended up where she is today. And her name is Emily Adams. So welcome Emily into the show. How are you doing today, Emily?

SPEAKER_01:

I am doing fantastic. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, definitely. Thanks for being on the show and uh opening your heart and soul to our listeners because that's what you're going to do today, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. Um, so yeah, let's just start off with the way uh I normally start off and just tell the listeners a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, since the podcast is The Life is Crazy, we'll start with the crazy part first. So a little bit about me. I was born and raised in the Amish culture. I left at 17, jumped out of a two-story house, and never looked back. After that, graduated from Purdue, um, built my career in automotive, and now I'm a business owner and building out my first tech product. And my business is leading with human design. So we are very everything we do is within human design.

SPEAKER_02:

All right. Yeah, that's good. That's uh hits a little bit of everything. I was kind of I didn't want to start open with the Amish thing because you know, I was gonna kind of surprise people with it, but you put it out there right up front. So um, I mean, it's part of your childhood anyway. It's the first thing we would have gotten to anyway. So uh, so let's do that. Let's start with um, you know, we all have an idea, right? An idea of what it's like to grow up Amish. At least let me just put it from my perspective. Um what I know as someone who has never been in Amish country or you know, really dealt with people who grew up Amish is they say you grow up without electronics and you know, no TV, no radio, those types of things, but you do have electricity, right?

SPEAKER_01:

No, certain parts of the Amish do not have electricity. Now, there's the Amish has kind of like multiple different layers and different um groups with inside the Amish culture. So kind of the way it's broke down is like those that don't have any running water, and then those that have running water and gas appliances, and then those that have electricity.

SPEAKER_02:

So interesting layers, yeah. Okay, all right. So that was kind of a little sidebar. I just wasn't sure because um I've heard both, so that's why I wanted to hear it straight from you. So yeah, let's just talk about that, just talk about what it was like growing up Amish and what made you decide I want to get the heck out of this.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so to start with, I will say whatever you watched on reality TV, most of that is not true. And uh another reason why I'm so passionate about educating people that don't have that knowledge or don't understand the culture. From outside looking in, the culture looks very, very peaceful and it's very like a way of living, right? It's just this peaceful way of living, everybody gets along, but it is the opposite of that. It is probably one of the most judgmental cultures that you will ever be a part of. And there's a lot of trauma and a lot of things that happen inside of the culture because they are Amish, they get kind of exempt from a lot of things. So the abuse gets, you know, just kind of pushed under the rug, nobody goes to the authorities. If you do get caught with the authorities, usually there's like the Amish um ministry or guys that run the church that will go and talk to the authorities to get them out of the spotlight because they don't want to have anything to do with the public like that. So there's that aspect. And then from a female perspective, the only path or career that you have is to be a stay-at-home mom. That's your only job. And men run the culture, they make the decisions. Uh, it is a very male dominant culture. So from that point, growing up, I always knew that I was definitely not going to fit in here because I'm very much a rebel child. And I would question why a lot. So I would say it probably got stronger when I was 13. I got out of school. I only went to eighth grade, which is equivalent to a sixth grade education. And from there, I wouldn't listen to my mom on the cooking, cleaning part because I just wanted to be outside and not do any of the housework. So she sent me with my dad, and my dad had multiple businesses, and I supported him and helped him like with the business side of things and then with horse training and all these things. And I knew that there was no way like I was just gonna be a stay-at-home mom. Like it just wasn't happening. And then fast forward, I lost one of my best friends in a buggy accident, and that was kind of the turning point for me, the realization of I cannot stay here anymore because at her funeral, they had said, you know, we're not sure if she's going to go to heaven or not. And so it's a very religious cult, and it's very much fear-based. So they very much believe in heaven and hell. And if you don't follow all these rules, you're going to hell. Like, bottom line, down to like the color of socks you wear and like all these rules and restrictions that you have. So after that, I knew I was like, okay, I've got to figure out how to get out, regardless of what it's gonna take.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So um, did you did you experience any of that abuse? Like whether it was physical or emotional, or what did you have to deal with in that environment?

SPEAKER_01:

Emotional, definitely. And also a lot of from not as much abuse, but from a programming standpoint, from a very much like you're meant to only be here. You're not meant here to be here, like to be seen, heard, or respected. You're just a woman, like you're just here to have babies. That's it. That's very much like the culture that they have. They also have a very interesting way of expressing their love and what they call is love, you know, from a parent to children kind of thing, is if you follow all the rules, you're loved, right? But if you don't follow them, then you're not. I have seen in a lot of the other abuse within the community, and that's also a lot of reasons why a lot of the women try to leave, but the percentage just from the stats side, only 7% actually leave and make it out and stay out.

SPEAKER_02:

Because because they get out and then they can't conform to the other way of life, so they just go back. Is that what happens?

SPEAKER_01:

No, it's it's like you go through a culture shock. So remember, like for the first 17 years, you're living your life with no technology, no electricity. Your education is like a sixth grade education, you don't have no culture, only thing you know is Amish. That's it. Yeah, like you don't know these things. And so for me, it was a challenge because I didn't understand what this career looks like for me. And everywhere I went, I thought people could still figure out that I used to be Amish and would judge me for it. So you have to like completely shift your identity. And if you can't shift your identity in that way, you it's hard, it's one of the hardest things that you'll do.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I mean, I don't, you know, I don't want to get too religious because I am a believer of God, but I do, I feel like a lot of religions um control people with shame and and you know, judgment. And um, if you don't behave a certain type of way, then you're going to hell. So um organized religion itself is you know a difficult topic for me as well, because uh I grew up not obviously Amish, but in uh, you know, a Christian uh environment, and it was a lot of fear mongering there as well. It was a lot of you gotta behave this way and you gotta do this way, or it's a sin, and you know, everyone will look down on you, but you know, it always and then they followed up with, but just ask Jesus for forgiveness and he'll forgive you for anything. And it's like, well, so then I can do anything and just ask for forgiveness. So this whole thing's stupid, right? So that's how it made me feel when I was a kid. So um, all right. So you jumped out a two-story window and got the heck out of Dodge. Tell us about that part of your journey.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, that was a challenging one. It was probably, I often go back and say that was the first leap of faith I took in my entire life because I didn't know like where I was gonna land, what was gonna happen. Um, after leaving, it was I very much went through a culture shock because now I had to understand how to do my hair, how to dress, how to like how to talk, like everything had a real heavy accent because their primary language is German. So basically relearning how to live through it. Um, fast forward, got pregnant, had no idea I got pregnant because they don't teach any sex education or how that even happens, which is crazy. But got pregnant at uh 17, had my oldest at 18, and got married, went through abusive divorce. And then that kind of really opens me up to okay, I gotta get my life straight. So uh ended up in going to Purdue to get my bachelor's degree and built my career up in automotive industry in the manufacturing industry, and then from there went into software, and then from there went into building my business.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, those are huge leaps. So let's start with uh so you go from one controlling environment to another, it sounds like. So tell tell us some detail about that.

SPEAKER_01:

And that one honestly was it was very much a groomed situation. Um, he knew the Amish culture, so he knew how the Amish culture operated. And if he dated someone from the Amish culture, there's a rule that if you get pregnant, you automatically have to get married to them.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

He knew this. And so what happens? We get pregnant, he's like, Oh, now we gotta get married. Fast forward, I don't realize that he has an alcohol issue because I wasn't raised around alcohol, like I wasn't raised around that stuff, but he's an alcoholic, narcissist, and all these things. And I'm like, oh my goodness. So I just went from the Amish culture right into another culture, but this one's not a culture, it's just a person, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So the moments that I was like, okay, I've got to get out. And it's it was also one of the one of the toughest moments is realizing like you got to get out now for your safety because I had two boys and I was like, all right, I gotta get out. And getting out of that situation and going through the whole court system, never experienced the court system a day of my life. And then he knew all of the um local attorneys, the judges. And so, of course, you know, he's went through a horrible custody battle. And through that, I had a really that's what taught me how to stand up and use my voice.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. So, and how did that turn out? Did you get custody? Did you have to share custody? How'd that go?

SPEAKER_01:

We shared custody. Uh, we had joint custody for a little bit until the boys were six and nine, and then he actually chose to walk away. So he ended up walking away. He wanted to originally sign his rights over, but the court system had told him if he signed his rights over, he would still have to pay child support and I would be able to get their passports on my own. So he still had that leverage of the passports over me because he didn't want to sign for them to get passports. So eventually he walked out and I raised them by themselves uh since they were six, seven and nine.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, so he was just uh winner all the way around.

SPEAKER_00:

You can say that you could say that. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I just I can't imagine for those that don't know my story. My oldest son, at b, you know, I didn't know my dad, so my dad left when I was two, walked away when my mom divorced him, and I never met him in his life until he ended up committing suicide about 10 years ago. Um, and then I had a son with a woman, my first wife, and we had gotten divorced, but she got pregnant before we divorced, and so we were divorced, and then she had a child, my child, supposedly. I never asked for a DNA test. Um, and when I went to to meet him, uh, she begged me not to have anything to do with him, not to be a part of his life, and just walk away. And I refused to do that, and so you know, I was a father to him for his whole childhood and everything. Um so I just can't imagine people that just walk away knowing their kids. That's wild to me. Um it's like the lowest of the low, as far as I'm concerned. But uh all right, so now you are single mom on your own, going to Purdue. Uh, what did you major in and what were you hoping to do with yourself at that point?

SPEAKER_01:

So I majored in business and then it was organizational leadership and supervision. And honestly, I was getting my degree because I one, no one's ever gotten any kind of degree on any side of my generations. So I wanted to get it for myself. And then also I thought it was going to advance me further in my career and support me more than what it actually did from a leadership aspect. Uh, I learned a lot in school, but I will tell you one thing, I learned more actually doing the hands-on because while I was in going through college, I worked full-time at uh a manufacturing facility and supervise, you know, production lines. And that's kind of how I got my start into leadership. Um, but that was kind of the journey from that aspect.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So I just realized we skipped apart. So you had what was essentially a sixth grade education, and then now you're going to Purdue University. How did you swing that? How did you make that transition?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So as soon as I had left the Amish, I started, I enrolled in uh to get a GED. And it took me about a year to get my GED, and then I took some pre-classes to actually qualify into uh Purdue because I never wrote a paper a day in my life, so I didn't know how to write papers and all these extra things. So then that's how I got into Purdue.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So I mean, that's you know, whatever you say about the degree, what it did do for you, what it didn't do for you, right? I have, you know, I have two college degrees, right? A bachelor's, a master's, and I never felt like that really taught me what I'm gonna do in the world. It just showed that I can complete something that I started, and that's what I feel like college degrees do. It just shows that you complete something you started. Um because this is a an issue I have with my kids as well. I have three sons, and you know, every one of them wants to argue about college degrees and college education and whether it's worth it or not, and it's not about whether or not they think it'll actually help their lives, they just genuinely just don't want to go to college because they hate school. So these are conversations I have in real life. Um, so you you go to Purdue, you graduate from Purdue, um, which has has to feel like a great accomplishment knowing where you came from and how you started. So, what do you do next?

SPEAKER_01:

So, what did I didn't do next? So I stayed in the uh manufacturing industry, but I transitioned to work at Honda and I had gotten a little bit different position there. And it showed me more like the business strategy, the corporate side of automotive instead of like being hands-on managing, supervising production lines.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And that really opened up my eyes to what I was really, really good at. And that was like high-level business strategy and all these, you know, mapping out three or five year plans, whatever was needed. And I led a lot of the um what they call M category, the morale category. So really improving the workplace for the employees and being a voice for them and advocating from them. And then from there, transition into the software industry.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. And then at some point, you decided I want to be in business for myself. I don't want to work for someone else anymore. So, so what led you down that path?

SPEAKER_01:

I went through a spiritual awakening of this can't be it, this isn't it. This isn't, I'm not called to do this in my entire life. And I started coaching on the side. And so I started actually out coaching um through nutrition. I used to power lift competitively, and I knew how to count macros and write macro plans and workout plans. So I started out on the nutrition side coaching and then transitioned into mindset coaching and a slash of business, and then later building out this business, um, transition into more of like helping business owners really like streamline their time management, their efforts, and like get really clear on where they're going, but now mixing in the human design aspect. So, yeah, the spiritual awakening kind of propelled me to start my business.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, well, you said something there that I didn't know, and you just kind of skipped through, and that was it used to be a power lifter. Um, you know, this show is about mental health, right? And about um self-improvement. I feel like exercise and fitness is a big part of that. Um, so do you still work out? Do you still exercise? How do you feel that exercise helps you in life?

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. I still work out every single day. Well, five days a week. Okay. And honestly, powder lifting um gave me, I started powerlifting right after going through my horrible divorce, and it gave me my life back in a way of it, it was therapeutic for me to be able to lift to get my emotions out, like just to leave it on the platform when you're lifting. And it really showed it gave me the confidence that I needed for a lot of things. And at first I, you know, I was average, okay. And then I competed at uh worlds, held a squat record for a hot second. And that kind of really shifted of like, wow, like if I'm that physically strong, I also had to have the mental strength to go with it. And it also taught me like both of them go hand in hand. And still to this day, like I feel like if a lot more people would move their body, even if it's not powerlifting and it's just walking or yoga or stretching or whatever, their mental health would be so much better. And even if it's like 10 minutes a day, it doesn't have to be like 45 minutes and two-hour workouts, but it's just like moving your body to like move your energy is just like there's it's unmatched.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's uh it's really hard sometimes to get people to understand just how beneficial physical fitness can be, you know, and and people want to say things like excuse me. I have to edit that out. People want to say things like I don't have time to work out, right? And that I've always been one of those people in life. Whenever you tell me you don't have time for something, you're just basically replacing the words I don't prioritize, right? So I have you know, I have a full-time job, I do two podcasts, I have to pre-interview people, I have to edit, I do all of it myself, and I still work out five days a week. I'm married, I have sons. Don't tell me you can't do it, right? Because I don't want to hear it. I I just don't want to hear it. And when people tell that to me, it's it's just an excuse. And I read recently there was a study done of 128,000 people, and they put some people you know at the gym and they put some people on pharmaceutical medications, and the people that went to the gym recovered better and had better lives just overall than the people that were relying on pharmaceutical medications. So the gym outperforms pharmaceutical medications, and uh, I know a lot of people, whether they want to admit it or not, are just lazy and they just don't want to go. Um, but man, if you could uh if you could just get yourself going and get started, like you say, just start walking and then elevate what you do as you get better, as it becomes easier, add a little more to what you're doing until all of a sudden it's a routine, it's a part of your life now. Um, it it would make your life so much better.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and I second guess that or second, I second everything that you said right there. Um, and one of the biggest things that's one of the first things that I teach my clients is you're gonna move your body. Like you have to tell me what does that look like for you? Because of the fact that with business owners, with anybody that's really trying to be creative or trying to like create and do things, the more you move your body, the more the creativity moves. And I know there's research out there that shows this exact thing, but on the other side too, it's like when you move your body and you actually take the time, like you said, to prioritize, you're prioritizing yourself. So I 100% will stand behind the whole thing. If you don't prior prioritize your health, it will make you prioritize it at some point in time.

SPEAKER_02:

That's right. Yeah, you choose it or it will choose you, you decide. Um, all right. So let's get to where you are today. Let's talk about your your business and what you're doing today. Um, I think you should you showed like you can have, you know, one of the roughest starts a person can have, right? You're leaving everything you know behind with a sixth grade education. You go from that into something that's not good for you. Um, and you still powered through all of that to get to where you are today. So, first of all, let me say congratulations for that.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02:

Second of all, let's tell everyone what that is.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so now what we do, and we're not, and I say we because I have a business partner now, and we are not industry specific. We do everything based off human design. So if somebody comes to us, they could want support in their business or they could just want to support, you know, on the leadership side to become a better leader. We will take their human design and basically build them a plan of action items out of there. And then if they wanted to do more internal work with their based off their human design to come more into alignment, that's what we coach them through. And we do this through, we can either do it through the school community, we have this paid school community, we have a one-off session, and then we have um different packages you can choose for if you want multiple sessions.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. And your company is called transformative leadership, right?

SPEAKER_01:

It is for now, it's gonna be rebranded to leading with human design in the next month or two.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, okay. So by the time this podcast gets out, it will be leading with human design. Yeah, okay. So um, that sounds amazing, and um, you know, just congratulations, seriously. Uh a lot of my podcast guests come on and they talk about oh, what a difficult life or time they've gone through. And some have been really rough, but some of them have been like, you know, this tiny little blip on a otherwise amazing radar. And it's it's sometimes it's hard for me to empathize or sympathize because I feel like their life has been so pretty good overall, except for one little incident. But for you, like I really respect where you started and where you've where you've gone to. So I just want to make that as clear as I can. This isn't just fodder or me talking, like I genuinely mean that.

SPEAKER_01:

Thanks. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02:

So you're welcome. So, all right. So I don't know. Uh, you know, normally I give someone an opportunity to talk about how they can be reached. Uh, I don't know since you're changing the name how that's going to work. Do you have the names lined up how you can be reached and everything?

SPEAKER_01:

So the best way to reach me is just through my personal platforms under Emily Adams. It's I have Emily Adams on Threads, I have it on Instagram, I have it on LinkedIn. Basically, every everywhere is under Emily Adams. Okay, so just reach out there. And again, even if it's just a question of like, hey, I'm curious about XYZ, my DMs are always open to having those conversations.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, so there you go. So go find her on Instagram at Emily Adams. And um, if you can't find her, reach out to me, let me know, and I'll help you find her. Uh, all right. So, one thing I like to ask people, Emily, uh, to close out a show is if you had one nugget, one best piece of advice, what would you give to people?

SPEAKER_01:

Never stop discovering who you are.

SPEAKER_02:

Never stop discovering who you are. That's good. So keep growing, right? Keep learning, keep growing. Uh that's right. Keep keep uh keep getting better, right? Um I I couldn't agree more. I'm I'm I went through the same thing you did for a little bit, right? Which was you know, I had been in two branches of the military, I got an MBA and then I got this job at Raytheon, and I did the same thing. Like, this is what I worked my ass off for. Like, this doesn't feel worth it. Yeah, I make a decent salary, but I I don't want to come in and live like this every day of my life. And so I had questions too. And then part of that I realized is well, I had stopped giving myself goals to achieve things to strive for. Um, and once I figured that out again, then you know I was back on track. But uh but yeah, don't definitely don't want to stay stagnant and and stop growing and stop learning. So great advice. All right, thank you, Emily, for being on my show.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely, definitely. And uh for the rest of the listeners that um I want to send the message of please go to my website, brandonheld.com, and click on subscribe subscribe to podcasts at the top of the page. Uh, I would greatly appreciate you supporting the show to help us get other people out there to learn about, like Emily and other guests, great guests that I've had on the show. And also, um if you're looking to be a guest on a podcast and you're not reaching podcast hosts and you don't know how to get the podcast host, go to podmatch.com and uh at the link at the bottom of this uh episode, I have a link that um if you click on my link and join podmatch.com, uh basically I get a little kickback for you joining under my name. So I would appreciate it if you do that. And then finally, um I also started using a supplement from Manly, and it's on their website is getmanly.com, but without the A. So get M N L Y dot com. And it's supplements uh that are designed specifically for you. They do blood tests and Based off your blood test, they they find out what supplements you're deficient in your body, and then they set up a supplement schedule for you in exact amounts and types just for you. And then, of course, every few months you get retested and they adjust accordingly based off what you need. So check that out and go to getmanly.com without the A. And uh last, as always, I thank you for listening to the podcast and giving me and Emily your uh valuable time. I never take that for granted, and I appreciate you listening. And this has been Brandon Held Life is Crazy, and I'll talk to you next time.

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Brandon Held

Host
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Emily Adams

Guest