Brandon Held - Life is Crazy

Episode 73: Aisha Makara On Freedom, Art, And Finding Safety In A Wild World

• Brandon Held • Season 3 • Episode 73

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A Siberian orphan finds safety in nature, rebels through grief, and builds a creative life across continents with discipline, risk awareness, and stubborn joy. We talk hitchhiking, hard lessons in school, marriage and boundaries, and how art and mindset turn chaos into clarity.

• early childhood in a Siberian orphanage and search for safety in nature
• lack of explanations from adults and the cost of punishment over guidance
• teen rebellion, loss of friends, and choosing to finish school
• hitchhiking as systems thinking with risk buffers and street smarts
• contrasts between living in the United States and Europe
• marriage, divorce in Portugal, and evolving boundaries
• claiming personal space after sharing everything
• creative process, discipline, and meditation for feminine energy
• practical mindset shifts for gratitude, agency, and joy
• resources for her book, art, and mentorship

Go to my website, brandonheld.com, and subscribe to the podcast and support the show
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SPEAKER_04:

Welcome back to Brandon Held Life is Crazy. And today I have a special guest I've been looking forward to talking to since we met originally. She is perfect for this Life is Crazy podcast because she has lived a crazy life. And you know, she is doing really well despite having lived a crazy life. And I can't wait to get through her story. And her name is Aisha Mekara. How are you doing today, Aisha?

SPEAKER_00:

I'm doing great. Actually, it was such an amazing day here in Portugal. I went to the beach. I spent some time with the friends. I went to, you know, I did my art. I was writing the book that I wanted to read already for like a while. And um yeah, so I feel like my days was very productive and fun.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, a day at the beach, that's always a beautiful day. So that's pretty nice.

SPEAKER_00:

I would fall asleep on the beach. That is what I really do.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, that would be nice. I'm in Arizona, I'm not near a beach, so all I get is hot sun. All right. So uh before we get into your life story today, just tell people like a brief overview about yourself.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I'm an uh artist, entrepreneur, and author right now. I'm based in Portugal, Lisbon, and it's my like home. I call it like it's my home for life. But else I'm working on some projects that I'm excited about. It's also part of the real estate and development and my uh next exhibition as well. Sailing, I don't know. I do like so many things that sometimes it's a little bit not easy to describe, but um I'm I'm uh what's my next is for sure my exhibition. I'm very like I'm very excited about that because it's going to happen in October, so I get to create a lot of art.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, we talked about that before, how the the world is not really uh designed for creatives, it's more designed for you know people that just want to do a job and work for someone else. And we can get into that later, but I I know that you're a very creative person, so you you have a lot of things going on. Uh so but let's just start from the beginning. Let's talk about childhood and and how that formed who you became as a young adult. I I see that you know you were orphaned at age two. Uh so do you want to tell us about your childhood and what happened there?

SPEAKER_00:

Sure. Uh so my mother abandoned me when I was like about two years old, and she left me in an orphan house somewhere in Norway in uh Russia in Siberia, and then very small town, and uh where I get to kind of like adapt to the new reality, I guess. And it was not easy, of course. I was crying a lot, and I was you know, like every time asking for mommy, and uh uh I'm still like kind of like remembering, I was like, I I probably get to still cry about that anyway. And then after a while, I as many other kids, I was always asking for attention, you know, like from the adults from the you know who work in the open house and and uh was fighting kids always was fighting for over this attention. There's a lot of fights every time, and I one day I just kind of like let it go. I said, I don't want to fight anymore, I'm tired of it, probably. I don't know. And I said I started to play by myself, you know. First I was playing in the corner with whatever toys I had that time, and and even so, like some kids is coming to me and just grabbing the toys and trying to fight with me. So I was feeling like it was not safe. I as a kid, I didn't have safe space, you know, where I can be just left alone somehow, you know, sometimes. So when I get a little bit older, probably I was already like about three years, maybe maybe something like that, three or four. I started to run away. You know, I was all the time find a place or like a way to run like to escape because I couldn't be in that environment. I was feeling like I get to kind of go somewhere. So I was pushed, I was running away to the parks, like it was like a few parks nearby, sitting there in the grass and just like singing for myself, like doing something with the flowers and being alone, you know. I like that time pretty much, like being left alone and finally like nobody around, no, nobody bothered me, nobody like you know, fighting with me and screaming and yelling at my at me for no reason, you know, and I'm feeling like that's my kind of like safe space, you know, like that's that's nature. And so after like after a while, and every time, like not uh after while but every time when I'm getting caught by uh by adults and they were bringing me back, so I've been punished, you know. I was putting in a corner or adults yelling at me or screaming at me or beating me up in front of other kids, you know, many times. And uh like I was feeling like I was being this one who trying to do something different, just something for myself, you know, and uh and I still keep doing it. I was so stubborn, I'm still so stubborn. Like, I'm so stubborn, I don't listen to anyone while I'm doing it to myself, anyway. And that's I was continued to run away, I was continued doing it, even I was punished every time, you know. I was like, I was saying I was anyway, like when I'm inside, somebody's like, you know, yelling at me, and we are always fighting, it's always fights. It doesn't matter if I go somewhere and I will be in peace for some hours. Whenever they catch me again, I will be punished again, and I will be like, you know, kind of like uh what that call, feeling guilt because I've been doing something that I shouldn't be doing. And that the other kids was feeling like, oh, we don't want to do that, you know, we don't want to like be like her. And I didn't care, even I was consistently doing it over again and again and again. And eventually, I don't remember when I was about probably like five. I don't remember, but I was a little bit older. So some kids started to ask me, Can I come with you? Can I go with you? Where are you going every time? And uh so I slowly started to explain. I was I went with the kids, and you know, uh, and I remember they were crying and asking for food or asking for water, or like, and I was like, I I never had these ideas that oh, I need the food, or I need the water. I didn't cry, you know, when it was like a like an exploration, like all like exploration. And I was like telling to the kids, listen, if you will continue to cry, just go back. Or next time I don't want to you're with me. You know, I was very like kind of like direct with everyone, and sometimes kids was like fighting with me are still crying, and I was like, whatever, you know, like just leave me alone. Like somebody will catch you anyway, you know, like you will be punished, it's all good. No, no, but you're safe, you know. Like we've been safe somehow. Nothing happened to us, you know. Like we've been catched every time, every time we've been catched, we've been burned, beaten up. And when I become older, I started to think about that. And I was like, yes, adults actually was worried about us. Yes, they didn't have the capacity to take care of the 30 kids. The thing is, they were worried because maybe some situation by being in the nature, by being by the river or by the you know, different areas or like by the swamp or something like that, we can die actually, you know, for some dangerous situation because we don't have the understanding as a kid what the danger is. Right. And for my like in my childhood, nobody explained about the danger, they were just beating you up. Every time I bring in the frog or snail or whatever, you know, or snake. Like I didn't know what it is. I was just asking what it is, you know. I was curious, I was always curious, and they didn't explain. So I never ever in my childhood like got explanation of something. You know, nobody was talking to me, nobody communicated.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I mean adults adults don't understand. Kids want to know the why. They think they're too young to understand the capacity of the why. And I have three sons, and I've always I never physically punished them ever. I always explained why I wanted them or needed them to do things like if we were out in public, I needed them to stay by my side or within my sight, or whatever the reason is. And it was for that reason, right? For their protection, for their safety. And yeah, they they were pretty good about it. I mean, I obviously kids are kids. Every now and then it flips their mind and they do their thing, but then you just remind them hey, remember, you need to stay in my sight so I know that you're safe and I know that nothing bad is gonna happen to you. And so they were always pretty good listeners because I talked to them. Uh I just don't, yeah. And you were just getting beat, and you were like, I don't care, I still want to go and I do what I want to do, even if I get beat, it was worth it.

SPEAKER_00:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, because I was in peace. I wasn't there at peace. I was uh outside of the adults, outside of this yelling and screaming, consistent screaming and yelling. And you know, it doesn't matter when you're inside in that environment, and I'm just feeling like, what's worse? To be right now some hours by myself when I just doing whatever I'm doing there, having fun with myself, and catch later and been beaten up anyway, and being punished and being, you know, putting there in the corner, and you know, everyone just ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

SPEAKER_04:

Like being like you know, hindsight being 2020, do you think that if they would have explained to you we need you here for your safety, but you're also in this environment of 30 kids and it's crazy. Do you think you would have stayed and listened, or do you think you still would have done what you wanted to do?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I would say, I've been for to die there.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, so it wouldn't have mattered in your case.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. I'm I don't know, but nobody would talk to me. That was the point of my childhood. Like, I talk to kids when I work with kids, I always explain about the creative thinking, why it's important to use the imaginary. I'm asking them questions, you know. I'm like, like they can they can explain themselves. I'm asking them like why? Why do you do that? Why did you, you know, like create this? Why did you choose this color? You know, for example, I'm asking questions because I want kids to think for themselves, not just by just doing, yeah, and I was thinking all the time. I was one of the kids who's always thinking and have hundreds of thousands of ideas.

SPEAKER_04:

There's a there's a fine line as a kid between thinking for yourself to try to differentiate right and wrong, and being difficult when you don't really know the right answer, right? Like a lot of times as the adult, you know what your kid should do and why, whether it's for their safety, whether it's for their future, whatever it's for. And when you're a kid that questions everything and you don't listen to anything without questioning it, that's also too extreme in the other direction. So, in an attempt to not spend this whole podcast on your childhood, were you were you an orphan until you became an adult, or what happened?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I was a difficult child, you know, because I've been wild, I've been aggressive. As a kid, I was very aggressive. And you know, you don't say that, I change a lot. Like the that kid was like I was always you know fighting with adults, I always was saying some you know words, that's why I was always banished.

SPEAKER_04:

So you were a little rebel, basically.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I was very rebel, and they're like evil. Something was like, Oh, one, you know, something like that. And I'm like, I'm just me, you know.

SPEAKER_04:

Like were you evil, or were you maybe you were just angry? Maybe you felt abandoned and angry, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and uh so like I was adopted a few times, not adapted, but kind of fostered, and after they gave me back because and the second time the family was not healthy at all, like were toxic. I was saying I was running away by myself. I was already a little bit older, and I started to live like on the streets, you know, become like uh kind of like a street kid for like a while. But I had a shelter, you know, like I can go to the shelter when I want, and uh kind of like been free in my own, and I kind of used to that hence the term free spirit, right? Oh my gosh, it's just so rebellious, and then eventually I um when I was a teenager, that was not easy because that's the first time I started to feel that I wanted to be alone. That's the first time I started to really feel that I want to be alone to the group or people's a group, yeah. And and I end up, I was first one to be with a group from my school, you know, like a group from my uh friends that I grew up with, and it was not easy, you know, they didn't accept me, and I was every time like I was fighting, so I eventually ended up with the street kids and we're doing all type of the thing, whatever. And like, and so I even didn't go to the school for some months, and after that I just stopped to go to the school, and eventually I, you know, my friends died in the um accident, and uh, I got I I just started to think again, like you know, like facing and seeing sitting there, and I'm like, oh my gosh, would I survive until I'm 18? Would I being still alive? What I got to do, you know. I want to travel, I want to live, like I want to live around the world, I got to finish the school, you know, I get to come back to the school. So I finished the school. I finished one after I went to the university, but it was also a whole thing, you know, I overcome a lot of things that happened because of this time when I didn't go to the school, and after I was going to the school, some days, you know, I just come with a you know, with alcohol, with cigarettes, and like I was just, you know, like destroying their uh lessons, or like uh, you know, I was not being good kids, so the teachers become very mad at me anyway. I was fighting with the teachers all the time, and I was like every time saying nasty things to them, and it was like whole thing, uh, I was just that person in the moment. It was just some moment, you know. Every kid's going through this, and I'm feeling like when you're not patient or you're not forgiven, because they I was just a kid, you know, who's going from anger and frustration and abandonment, you know, that I get to, and they just punish me more, you know. Like when I finished the school, I I took the uh region exams or country exams for very good, you know, because it was like a uh new test or whatever experiment at schools, and I got my school like extra bonuses and extra money for the teachers, but they still put the very low characters to me, like the the points to me. And I was so mad at them, and I was like, oh my gosh, these people like don't have a heart, they don't want me to live my dreams. I was very expressive that I want to, you know, finish the school, that's why I took the all these class extra classes and extra things because I want to, you know, study, uh, I want to be a journalist at the time. And eventually they didn't let me to do that, you know.

SPEAKER_04:

They didn't they didn't want me to Yeah, teachers, you know, I I know I've known a lot of teachers in life, and at the end of the day, they're just human beings, right? They they help who they like. It doesn't necessarily matter if they're good at school or not, they just help who is the kind of personality or someone they like, and then they don't help the people they don't like, even if they're good at school or or whatever that is. So unfortunately, a lot of teachers can be that way. I'm not saying all are, but clearly that's what you were dealing with and running into. So let's let's fast forward to adulthood. I know, you know, a preview in advance, you've got to travel and you've got to live all over the world, but how did that where did that start? What what was your first step in young adulthood to make this happen?

SPEAKER_00:

So first I moved to the you know, at my 16, like I was like about 16, and uh I moved to the city, the biggest city, about like 500,000 or 700,000. That was my first bigger city in Russia, uh, where I started to go to college. And uh and after um I started to travel. Like first I did hitchhiking. I I went to the hitchhiking club, it was like a hitchhiking club there. Somebody told me about that, and I just went to that club and I started to talk to the people and I started hitchhiking with them. First, it was like a just little trip, you know, like 500 kilometers away. And um, and after it was a like more bigger trips, eventually I started to travel like a whole month, and I eventually I started to plan my travelings, and I was like, okay, I get to work, I get to study in the same time. I get to travel, I want to travel next, like uh next time, like after two months, how I can do that. So I started to communicate with the teachers to find a way. I started to do like construction because I was studying engineering, you know, and um and even like talk to the older guys and boys. I said, like, okay, you get to do the construction things, I'm going to get us clients. Uh, so I was getting the clients, and uh, I was the middle person, and I was doing a lot of things, more like uh, you know, middle person, I would say. And uh, and you know, I plan everything ahead. I was like, okay, if I'm making so much, I I can travel, I always get to have extra money. If something happened with me, was my health. So I get to kind of have this extra money to, you know, to go back home and recover. So thanks God never happened anything. But uh the the point, the point is, is like I always kind of like thinking ahead because I was listening to the what the hitchhikers, the very um advanced hitchhiker was talking their own workshops and they were sharing with us their stories and their fail fails, and so I try not to fail like they do, and try even like when I had moments when when we were hitchhiking in travel, I had the moments to work and make money, and I still like did it even like I was begging in the streets sometimes just for fun, and like and I was feeling like that's it's kind of like teaching you that world is your family and world is abundance, actually. Uh it took me uh in I I I learned that in a very early age, you know, because I I understood when I reflect on my childhood, I understood how safe I was. Even I grew up in yes, it was a lot of yelling and punishment and all of that things. In reality, I was very safe, you know, and like the people catch me and always give me back. They, yes, of course, they will yell at me or whatever, and they didn't explain me why I didn't have my why, you know, it's okay. The point is, like, I grew up in a very safe environment. Yes, even so it was very brutal in some ways, and the same safe.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, so that's what I wanted to ask you while you were hitchhiking. You never felt like you got in unsafe situations.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, we had the situation. Of course, I had my pepper uh pepper spray, yeah. Yeah, and the thing is the situation it happened with me one time in the blue moon, and somewhere like in uh we were traveling, I think, towards west, towards uh, you know, like uh like a sea lexi, and we had the situation uh with uh you know the trailer, trailer, what is called the truck driver was my my friend, she was with me and we were like running away. But it was just a one time, and one time I had in San Francisco, and I said I was in San Diego when I was also like hitchhiking around the United States. Uh and uh like it's safe, you know, like yes, it's happening, but it's happening one time. I mean, one time it happened with me in Barcelona, you know, like and that's it.

SPEAKER_04:

Like so you you hitchhiked in California in America?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I hitchhike in California, I hitchhike like around states, some state, like uh mostly like uh I think I did California, I did uh you know, a lot of America's serial killers come from California.

SPEAKER_04:

That's where they do their serial killing.

SPEAKER_00:

So that's and I just use my paper. But the funny thing is like every time when you're using the paper paper spray in the car, it's like everyone is getting affected by that. Yeah, it's so annoying. But anyway, uh yeah, I mean it just happened like a few times in my life, three times, I would say, but like so many months of traveling, and like would I would I be affected by that? I just like okay, whatever. You know, it just happened. I'm I'm fine. I'm good, you know, it's all good. Nothing has happened to me.

SPEAKER_04:

My body's well that's I mean, my I mean, you were lucky, really. I am the pepper spray worked and you got all the situations, but let's just say it didn't work. I mean, that would have been awful, you know, what could have happened the other way. And if you were if you were my daughter, for example, and I knew you were out living life this way, I would be terrified. It would drive me crazy. I know you didn't have that going on because you were an orphan, so uh, you know, you were living your life doing your thing and not worrying about that terrorizing, you know, your parents or anything. So that that's good. Um all right, so uh wow. So you you hitch high you hitch hyped throughout the world.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm like, yes, it's actually true.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But I'm lucky, I'm really lucky. I'm so blessed, and I'm so lucky. Like, I mean, many, you know, I'm just feeling like through life, like, yes, some shit happens between, but it's just a day, and many times I'm thinking like it's just a day. Would I focus about that day that was shitty day when I have so many amazing, crazy days?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, like I feel the same way, right? Like, uh, I'm not here promoting hitchhiking at all. I would never promote hitchhiking. I think it's way too dangerous and scary, especially in America. I would never promote that. Uh, but like you said, one bad day, one shitty day is just that. We all have them no matter what our life is, and however much focus or energy you give that one shitty day is what you know makes it either way shitty or not as bad because you have other great ones. So that's a good attitude, that's a good outlook.

SPEAKER_00:

It is, but like some situation, you you're right, you don't know how to do it, it's a turning uh around because in my situation, these people just drive away. But the point is it can turn a completely different way. They can get angry, you know, they can, you know, do whatever, maybe they have a gun, you know, like you never know.

SPEAKER_04:

You know, people are known to be people are known to be tied up and kept prisoner here in America, you know. That happens to people. So I know that's worst case scenario, extreme and incredibly rare in the grand scheme of things, but if that incredibly rare thing happened, it would be awful.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah, but I think like I met a few girls who went through some things in Miami and they're still alive, they're doing good, you know. They they go they went through a lot, you know.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, so you've you lived in you lived in California, you lived in Miami, and you lived in New York, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, just recently I just moved out uh last year from United States. I'm very happy that I did.

SPEAKER_04:

You don't like the US?

SPEAKER_00:

I don't want to go back. I mean, I don't mind to visit, you know, like a tourist, but I don't want to live there again.

SPEAKER_04:

What is it about uh Spain that you like better than the US besides the obvious beauty and the beaches?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, about the history, I'm really like like the history. I love the you know, these castles and this like uh idea of the fairy tale here as well. And uh it's a very thousand and thousands of years of the history of Europe itself and uh the architecture here is just amazing, beautiful. I just like this architecture, and uh next year I want to uh try to live like maybe six months uh in Florence and Venice because I feel like I want to experience that this lifetime, you know, because it's such amazing, beautiful cities, and like and I'm just learn by by being there, by learning what it is to be, you know, there, what it I mean, and nowadays we can experience that, and what's stopping me to do that? Nothing, just myself, you know. I'm just like I'm going to do that, and I'm just feeling like every time when I'm thinking about the best places in the world before, like 10 years ago, you know, I was thinking it's America, you know, like America is the best because every time I traveled to America, I was like traveling every year to the United States and stay there for two, three months. And we're just feeling like, oh my gosh, this is the dream, it this is like so amazing. Everyone is just so happy, and every time we're just smiling and positive and so like wonderful, you know. And uh when you're moving there to leave, completely different. You started to understand the struggle, you know, you start to understand the not just like a mental like uh not the struggle itself, the financial struggle, like how much you get to work to get that amount of the money to survive and actually live a very good life. You're figuring out, but it takes you some time as an immigrant, you know, it's like five, seven years it takes you to figuring out like your lifestyle you want to have. And I'm just feeling like by being American and being like sometimes I'm I was observing Americans like being American, you don't have so much understanding what's happening outside of the world, you know, how it's actually the outside world works, and you don't educate yourself at that level of the of the history, you know, of the his history itself. You just know American history, but it's like European history, it's completely different, you know. And no, not so many people actually travel outside of America. Many Americans travel just inside of America, and uh for me, America is one of the most expensive places in the world. Yeah, it's so expensive. It just in like I cannot just like explain the level of expensive how it is. And I remember many years ago when I want to move first time to Los Angeles and be an actress, I was like, oh my gosh, all my savings is just enough for a few months, three months to live here. I got so scary, you know, and I left back to Norway. I was living in Norway at that time, and I and because I was just in my early 20s, but in one of my I came again, I was like, I can overcome it. It's all good. You know, I was figuring out now. I'm more smarter, you know, I'm a smart ass. I was figuring out, you know, it's very painful to figuring out, it's a painful process of why.

SPEAKER_04:

I mean, you also went to Los Angeles, which is one of the most expensive places to live for sure. I mean, you know, a million-dollar home there is like a you know$300,000 house in a lot of other places in America.

SPEAKER_02:

So I know.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh yeah, that's pretty crazy. So um our so we you got to travel all over. You you tried to be an actress. What else have you uh I haven't heard anything about have you gotten married? Has there any been anything going on in the romantic front in your life?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I've been married, I divorced, you know. I I married here in Portugal, I divorced also here in Portugal. Me and my husband, we um we're not friends because we cannot be friends. We have very two different opinions. We try to be friends, but it's not possible. And it's been already for so many years, and we still cannot be friends. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_04:

I like the um I'm not friends with any of my exes, so I don't really think that's a requirement. You go your separate ways for reasons, so yeah, that's

SPEAKER_00:

True. It's actually true. But we we share a lot of like things, you know, and I'm feeling like even if you throw all my stuff, you know, and never come back. I said he said, You said he said, Well, you told me you never will be back, and here you are back, you know. I throw all your stuff. I said, You could actually keep it a little some of it one day. Yeah, so it uh I mean it was kind of like my um idea. Uh I want to be married, you know, like at least I want to marry it myself, so I did. And now I'm I said to myself, my second marriage get to be more mindful, I get to have a white dress, you know, really like marriage, really like, you know, with like everything. So like I want to like marriage, but for real, like uh with a real but are you someone that can be tied down to marriage? You seem too free-spirited to be locked down in a I don't know, because you know, I'm feeling like older I get, I feel more grounded, and I want to have a partner that I want to travel with, you know, like at least like who has the same ideas like me to go and live at least for some places here and there, and you know, and loves to travel and active and fun and the same time very positive and joyful.

SPEAKER_04:

That's hard to find. I want to let you know that. You know, back when I was single and I was on uh dating apps and dating websites, I would say 99%, and this isn't even an exaggeration, this isn't a joke. 99% of women would say loves to travel looking for a man that likes to travel. There aren't very many.

SPEAKER_00:

Interesting that you say that, but it's true, it's not so many men or like women who actually can be in that like matching each other. I believe that I'm lucky one.

SPEAKER_03:

So there you go. That's a start, right? You gotta believe first. That's where it starts.

SPEAKER_00:

I have faith, you know, the god is with me, so God is on my side, so for sure I will find the one, and uh, even I don't know when I just know that I am, and that you know, because I'm the lucky, lucky cookie that's my with my hitchhiking travels and my general like solo travels. If I look around, I'm like the lucky one, you know. I really experienced so many amazing things in my life, and I was traveling solo. I had an amazing partner from Norway for many years, and like we've been traveling a lot, and I'm just feeling like I'm blessed, and I, you know, I'm really blessed. Yes, I I come from nothing because I have this philosophy. Yes, I came from nothing. I go from I go to nothing because it's everything in life, it's a temporal. I don't know why I have this philosophy from the beginning, and I was not being I wasn't attached to the materialistic stuff. Now I decided that I get to learn to attach and say, This is my beautiful dress, this is my beautiful shoes, this is my, you know, like learn what it learn to have things and connect to them, you know, because as an orchid, we didn't have mine, I was always sharing clothes, shoes, toys, everything we shared. I never had my room or my space. I was sharing it with other kids, you know. So for me, even in Russian life, you know, I never had like, yes, a little bit I had my apartment, you know, for like a little bit, some months, whatever, my room. But the point is, is like I never had my space or my, you know, I bought like a house as well. I was uh like I was thinking, yes, but I will be sharing it with someone, blah blah blah. So I was feeling like every time I was feeling like how I can learn to have mine because when I moved to Norway, it was completely different. It was it's my thing. This is my shoes, this is my, you know, like I was like, what is my like for me? It was like so new and different, you know.

SPEAKER_04:

It was probably a defense mechanism, you know, from when you were young, you were abandoned, you had to share everything all the time. So, you know, you it was easier just to say, Well, I don't need anything, right? I don't need anything because that was the life that you had. I also had abandonment issues uh growing up, and I always was sharing with someone, and I've always, you know, kind of always been in a relationship at a when I was younger, and then I had a period of time where I was single for a while, and I did have everything that was just mine. I finally wasn't sharing my stuff with someone else. And in the beginning, right, it felt oh cool, now you know this stuff's just mine. But then after a little while, I was like, Yeah, that's overrated. I want someone in my life, I want to share my stuff with someone. I didn't need things that were just mine anymore after I had that.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, I had a my car, I had a my car in a my car, I have my place, you know. Like I learned how to, you know, I have my apartment for many years in Norway and here in Portugal, and I'm in in Miami as well. You know, like I'm just feeling like yes, I learned. It's like, but my you know, the funny thing is every time when I have a place, it's like so many people passing by, you know, that it's a door, uh open door policy, it's like my ex-boyfriend, he's always like saying to me, I cannot leave you alone. It's so many people coming in. How long you know these people? Why are they here? And I used to say, They're all good people like me. Or you hope it didn't like it at all.

SPEAKER_04:

No, I wouldn't like that either if you were a girlfriend. So, your objective today is to inspire, motivate, and empower audiences who live and breathe in their creative energy. So, what is it you're doing and how are you doing that?

SPEAKER_00:

For me, it's by sharing my story and uh by um, you know, like sharing what I have experienced because I believe it's each experience is experience. It's not like, oh, this is the good experience, this is not good experience. It's always about experience and how I approach this experience, how I face the challenge, the way I look at it, was a gratitude and great attitude, or like a as a winner or as a victim. So I prefer to look at everything as a winner. Yes, it's not easy. Many times it's not easy to win because you get to train so much, you get to be you get to have a discipline, you get to work on yourself, you get to be responsible, you get to take action, you know. And I feel many times people are scary of living their dream because they just prefer to have it as a dream. I believe we are here to live our dreams. This is why I'm doing it, you know. I'm living it, I'm I'm just going to it because there's no other way. I just get to go and do it. That's kind of my approach. And many times, of course, I fail, I hurt myself, and it's okay, you know. That's even with when I'm loving someone, I'm loving so intense, you know, that's because I love that person. So for me, it's everything in life, you get to do was so intense and with so much passion because life is happening for us. So we are the creators, you know, and we can create, we're the flow, we're the you know, the inspiration. We get to look up to ourselves. Like, you know, I'm always asking myself, what's there? Richie Ayusha would do, you know, which that she has absolutely everything, which would I do right now? Like, so I'm every time asking the like kind of like me that's already have everything, would I be like this or like that, or would I go to here to these places if I would have the all the money in the world? You know, I gotta ask myself, that's why I started to go more intentional about the things I do, and more I'm intentional about my things I do, my life become way more clear. And uh more I'm working on my values and principles, my boundaries become more clear because I communicated it so clear and so loud with others, and I take responsibility over my words, and I and when people don't listen to me the first time, I understood that I get to walk away. I don't have time to explain them again and again.

SPEAKER_04:

True. Yes, I'm not creative like you. Uh I'm I'm more of a logical brain, a rational, like uh, you know, risk versus reward type person. But one thing I do completely agree with that you said is everything in life is about your outlook, it's the way you approach it. You can either approach it with positivity and gratitude, like you said, or you can approach it with negativity and you know, bad thoughts and whatever you think in your head, that's what it's going to be. So, yeah, if you just practice gratitude, just practice positive thinking, and everything is so much better in life when you do that. And it sounds uh so simple when you explain it that way, but it's so true. And it took me uh a lot of years to realize that. It took me a lot of heartache and a lot of negative thinking about giving too much focus and attention on bad things that happen in my life and letting it suck and drain all the good energy out of me to realize that I need to focus more on the good stuff because there's a lot of good stuff in life.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, and if everything is happening in the body, all the emotions, everything is happening in the body. So, like I used to say to people dance more, you know, create more, just started to paint something, whatever. Just like get a canvas and started to create, even it takes you a year, two years, it doesn't matter, like do it, you know. And I'm just feeling like create something out of yourself, started to do music, piano, I don't know, like running, like do something that's different, that's that you don't use to meditation, you know, breathing exercise, whatever it works, ice padding. I'm just feeling like you get to switch something in you before you started to kind of like do the meditation. I do like guiding meditation all the time. It's like positive thinking, and it's actually getting me out to do more right now. I'm doing meditation towards like my femininity, how to be more like feminine because I grew up in the environment. Nobody explained me that I'm a woman and what it is to be a lady or like what it is to be a princess or queen, whatever you know, like just kind of I had all the ideas in my head, and I'm just feeling like you get you're the creator, so be mindful and just have fun because God source wants you to have fun here. That's what matters. It doesn't matter like how many partners you have, how like uh how many like uh lovers or whatever, how many kids, how like no, it matters how you feel, why you know you create what you create, your why and your feelings, your heart, you know, like because listen to your heart, don't think about what's happening outside. People will always judge you, say something, compare you, whatever. Just let them be, because in the end of the day, it's your life, in the end of the day, it's my life. I'm the creator of the reality I want to see. Yes, it's not easy, it's not easy. Nothing is easy in this life. Make it easy as possible for yourself, get over yourself. Nothing is possible to create and live the dream life you want to live except yourself. You're the biggest enemy of yourself, you know, you're the biggest judge of yourself. Nobody judges you, nobody like uh, you know, do the way you judge yourself or be an enemy to yourself, like drinking or doing drugs, whatever. Stop it. Understand that learn to be your best friends, your best ally, the best angel that you can create. Be the best, you know, do the good, whatever good in your mind, whatever best is in your mind, just do it. It's not easy. I know I'm working through this sometimes, you know. I'm also going up and down. So we artists and creatives, we're always like this, and it's okay. Accept yourself as well, because that's the beauty of life. I'm still working on my walls, you know. Like I started to do art in my walls, and I'm still working it. I was like, okay, in one month, I'm going to do all of it. So I started to do a lot in the first month, and I couldn't. I get distracted. And after one, my one of my friends she came to me and she said, Aisha, just relax. We're artists, we're the creators. It's just a process. Yes, you can have the oldest ideas. Enjoy the process. One day you finish, maybe you never finish. It's okay, just accept it. Just go and enjoy life, live the life, you know, enjoy your beauty, enjoy your like, you know, the feminine in you, enjoy it. Not just every time work, work, work, but also learn how to enjoy it, how to dance, how to flow, how to have fun. And it's not easy. Who said that it's going to be easy? Because some people cannot even relax, some people cannot even reward themselves after doing something very magical and amazing and and win. They cannot even celebrate the wins.

SPEAKER_04:

Yep, you're right. Life is not easy, life is crazy, hence the podcast. Life is crazy. All right, so we're running out of time here. So I want to give everyone or give you a chance to tell everyone how they can reach you and get either your art or your motivational help. Uh just let everyone know.

SPEAKER_00:

So I um people can find my book, Joy for Living Guidebook, on Amazon or platform, just Google Joy for Living Guidebook by Aisha Makara. And uh, you can also look at my art and uh my mentorship program on my website aisha.today is a aisha.today, where people can you know find all my projects and what I'm doing right now. And of course, always welcome to book time with me and have a conversation.

SPEAKER_04:

All right. Well, thank you so much, Aisha, for uh telling us your story and you know, just the gratitude that you have for life in your life. It's very comforting and positive, you know, to meet someone who has this outlook. So thank you for sharing with myself and everyone today.

SPEAKER_00:

Remember, we are winners.

SPEAKER_04:

That's right.

SPEAKER_00:

We need to win by being here, by sharing this experience in planet Earth. All of us are winners, no matter where where you're from, no matter what your background, no matter anything, we are all winners.

SPEAKER_04:

And there you have it. And so thank you for listening to the podcast today. And remember to go to my website, brandonhell.com, and subscribe to the podcast and support the show. And uh also uh I have started using a supplement from a company called Manly. It's M N L Y. Their website's getmanly.com, and it's a great uh product where they take your blood and then based off your blood tests, they tell you what your deficiencies uh deficiencies are in vitamins and minerals and supplements, and they uh make one just for you, and it's pretty awesome. I'm enjoying it. I think it's a great product. So go check it out at getmanly.com. And uh as always, thanks for listening to Brandon Held Life is crazy, and I'll talk to you next time.

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Brandon Held

Host
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Aisha Makara

Guest