Brandon Held - Life is Crazy

Episode 77: From NICU Nurse To Purpose Mentor with Dean Taylor

• Brandon Held • Season 3 • Episode 77

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We trace Dean Taylor’s path from a bullied, introverted kid to NICU nurse, healthcare IT leader, speaker, and mentor for fathers. He shares how purpose, values, and a six-part morning routine turned drift into direction and sparked a mission to help men feel alive again.

• early years in New Mexico and Oklahoma, challenges with size and glasses
• first-generation college journey, BYU, major changes, med school attempt
• nursing career in the NICU, transition to healthcare IT leadership
• discovering speaking through coaching and a first keynote
• purpose, values, and vision as a GPS for life
• The Miracle Morning framework and daily SAVERS practice
• free guide with journal prompts for clarity and momentum
• parenting without comparison and supporting unique strengths
• choosing alignment over approval and revisiting dreams

Go to deantaylorofficial.com for a free guide to clarify your purpose and vision

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Their supplements have been developed by a team of Practitioners, men's health scientists, neuroscientists and peak performers. MNLY harnesses the power of blood analysis, machine learning, and AI to evaluate data from four essential components: Biological, Environmental, Nutritional, and Clinical analysis. By leveraging this advanced technology, they develop precise, evidence-based solutions that are tailored uniquely to each individual.

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SPEAKER_02:

Welcome back to Brandon Hell, Life is Crazy. And today I have a special guest. His name is Dean Taylor. And Dean, he's a passionate mentor and a speaker. He's dedicated to empowering seasoned career fathers to discover their purpose and develop simple daily success habits. And I thought Dean would be a great guest because of what he's doing with clients and speaking in his life. And so we're going to learn about Dean today. How are you doing today, Dean?

SPEAKER_00:

I'm doing excellent. Yeah, thanks for having me on the show today.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, thanks for being here. As you know, we talk that this is Life is Crazy. We talk about the ups and downs of life, the things that we've gone through, both good and bad, that lead us to where we are today. And so that's what we're gonna do. We're just gonna get started. So let's just start with your childhood. Tell us about your childhood, where you grew up, what that was like.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So I was born in New Mexico. We lived there for well through through my elementary school years. Uh that's where I uh grew up and a bit and then moved to Oklahoma. My dad changed jobs and we we moved uh to a new school, new town. So and for me, childhood, I uh we grew up from my time in New Mexico, we lived in uh up in say the mountains. We had about 13 acres of land. I loved it up there. I felt like the whole world was my playground. I had a lot of fun exploring. We had some horses and some animals that I just loved to uh take care of, which was was which was really fun. Uh so I I I think from that standpoint I had a great a great childhood in and being able to explore. I I was I was born little, like I was a little, like a I I I think I was born premature. I but I'm a former NICU nurse. Okay. And so I when I listened to my mom tell stories about what I was like, I was born about four pounds, four ounces, and I'm like, Mom, I think I was a premature baby.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's pretty small.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Uh so anyway, so I was I was a little on the smaller side, even into my young childhood years, and so that led to a little bit of teasing. I shouldn't say a little bit, it led to a a lot of teasing, especially I got glasses when I was pretty young. And so I I got I got bullied a bit at school. Uh and so I I I I think from those experiences I I I pulled into myself. I I tended to sort of protect my myself, I think. At least that's the way I was trying to protect myself a bit from from those experiences. And so when we moved to Oklahoma, uh being in kind of entering your junior high years, which is always a little bit of an awkward time of year, or time not telling me your time of life or young people being introverted, shy. Uh I I was I had a hard time making friends, so that was that was a hard transition for me, moving to a new town with not knowing anyone. So I spent most of my seventh grade year not really having any friends and trying to figure out how I was gonna make friends. And I did like sports, so I tried out for the basketball team in my eighth grade year and made the team and and played from then on up through through high school. So I don't know, my my teenage, my my group, my I'd say my my growing up years were were pretty good. Uh uh, but I definitely had some some challenges with making connections, making friends. I think just from those experiences of when I was little and and being teased and and bullied a bit and from poor eyes.

SPEAKER_02:

That makes sense. I mean, uh yeah, I got glasses in the first grade, I think it was, and I just wouldn't wear them all the time because I didn't A, I didn't like how they made me look. I wanted to be like all my friends, and none of my friends wore glasses, so I totally get that. And being small, I wasn't I was kind of small too when I was young, believe it or not. I'm 6'1 now, but all the way up like in eighth grade, I was five foot three, which is pretty small, right? And and then like somewhere between eighth grade and ninth grade, and I mean like in that summer, I went from being five foot three to five foot eight. So I had this gigantic growth spurt in a very short amount of time. So I also can identify with being small because I was small up until that point, so I know what you're saying. No, nothing too traumatic or crazy, though. So that's good. I mean, that's a good thing about childhood when you can say that it wasn't too traumatic. So, how did that shape you for what you were gonna do next? What did you decide to do after high school?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I my my family, my dad was uh a blue-collar worker, and nothing wrong with that. I I did, but I we we didn't have a lot growing up. And I had friends whose uh parents or or dads had education and had done gone to school and had they had different careers, different a career path. And I I noticed that, and so I I wanted to, and and no one in my family had ever gone to anything beyond high school. My dad didn't graduate high school, my mom I think like graduated high school because they was they they were they were tired of having her around, so they let her let her pass. But uh so I I I just saw it was a different lifestyle and something I wanted, and so I I decided I was going to pursue an education, although I wasn't sure even how to do it or what anyone had done it. Right. So it was all brand new to me, and so I I did go to school and changed my my major several times. One of the things I did do, I it's so funny. I look back, I I thought when I started, I'm gonna make sure I get a degree that I can get a job when I'm done.

SPEAKER_02:

Which is a smart way to think about getting a degree, by the way. Yeah. Where'd you go to school?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh I went to Brigham Young University.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, BYU, okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, BYU, yes. And then I part way through my uh education, I thought about medical school. I I took a physiology class which got me interested in kind of medical things. Okay. And so I thought, oh, I'll I'll I'll I I could I could shave off some time if I changed my major. And that was the one thing that I I I shouldn't say was a mistake, but it it it took me off the path that I initially had of getting a degree that would get me a job when I got out of school. Because that shift in that major was only designed to get me into graduate school, was never really designed for a career. Yeah, so it took that took me on a path of a longer time in school. I spent uh oh gosh, I started in 1991. I didn't finish my master's degree until 19 or till 2005.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow, yeah, that's for a while. That's yeah, that's quite a difference. Um, so you graduated high school in 91?

SPEAKER_00:

Right. No, I well, no, I graduated 87. I went on a uh a two-year mission for our church. Okay, and then I came back and started school, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, you said 91, and uh and I thought when you said that, because I actually graduated high school in 91, so I was thinking we were the same age, but I guess you're a little older. Um, all right. So you uh you go to medical school and you already alluded to the fact that you were a nurse. So uh what did you decide to do in between, you know, because obviously 91 to 2005, you weren't in school the whole time. So what were you doing in between there?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I kind of was at school the whole time. What I because I got my I got this bachelor's degree, which took me about five years. We had our first my wife, I got married in that time, that time frame. There you go. Yeah, I got married. We had our first child in 1995. And I did apply to medical school. I got put on an alternate list, I didn't make it in. So I was like basically an alternate list. Was if someone decides to drop out or they don't accept, then they'll they might they may call you back. I never heard back. So here I'm thinking I've got this degree, I spent all this time applying to school. Is there something in the medical field I can at least apply to? And so I I I got into I applied to nursing school. So while I was going through nursing school, I walked I worked in the hospital in the lab. I was went around drawing blood. Okay. While I was going through nursing school, graduated nursing school, started working in the newborn ICU. And then while I was in the newborn ICU, I thought, well, I'd love I've always wanted a master's degree. So I applied to this master's nursing program, but they wouldn't let me in because I didn't have a bachelor's of nursing. So I said, even though you have a bachelor's degree, it doesn't matter. It's got to be a bachelor's of nursing to get into a master's nursing program. So I went back and completed my bachelor's of nursing, then reapplied to the master's nursing program, and then completed my master's of in nursing. So I was really in school pretty much that all that yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But you also you also worked.

SPEAKER_00:

I was I was working, I was growing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So you had a lot going on. Um so how many kids did you end up having?

SPEAKER_00:

We have five children. Okay, our oldest now is 30, or your youngest is 20. We've got three grandchildren and one on the way in January.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so a big family, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I have three sons, but I don't have any grandkids. One that's 27, one that's he'll be 18 in about three weeks, and one that's 15. Oh, yeah, yeah, awesome, very good. So, yeah, you had a lot going on. I mean, five kids definitely. Did your wife work too? Or was she she the I don't want to use the word just, but she stayed at home, took care of the kids in the household.

SPEAKER_00:

Took care of the kids, but she she graduated her degree was in vocal performance, so she had a pastor's degree in vocal performance and stuff like that. Bachelor of Arts singing lessons, yes. Yeah, okay. Mostly to kids in high school, junior high that were trying out for plays and musicals and things like that. She's she's taught adults as well, but most of it's been focused on younger, younger people.

SPEAKER_02:

Did she teach all your kids to sing and all that?

SPEAKER_00:

She's she she tried. She tried. We have uh our they they've all developed some musical talent through they've all participated and done some some things. We our youngest son sings, or well, our two, our two youngest boys sing. Our oldest son plays the piano, our oldest daughter plays the piano, and then our our other daughter, who's kind of the middle, she she's taken after a mom, and she's she's an accomplished singer as well.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's someone once told me because my I'm not artistic, like in any sense of the word, artistic, right? I don't I can't play instruments, I can't draw, I can't sing, just whatever. I'm not creative. I've always thought if I could be one thing artistic, it would be able to sing really well. I always found the appeal of being a singer something that I think I would enjoy. And someone once told me, like, you should take singing lessons because everyone has a singing voice inside of them. But I don't know if that does she say that, yeah, yeah. I've heard that before too, but then I didn't know if your wife would agree with that or not.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, she does. Like every everyone, everyone can learn to develop their their instrument there, and uh I guess if you're completely tone-deaf, that might be the one's uh yeah, nothing's true for everyone, right?

SPEAKER_02:

There's always some exceptions to the rule. Okay, so you were doing the Nikyu nursing for a long time, and then you decided to switch it up. What happened there?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I so my master's degree that I got was in it combined my nursing healthcare background with information technology. So I was working at the hospital, I made a career switch. I I work in healthcare IT now, so that that's what I've been doing and have done for a long time. In in really healthcare IT leadership kind of administration roles with my master's degree. So I I managed teams and built teams at the in in healthcare leading projects, that sort of stuff. And along that way, I I I discovered that well, I I guess I would say my my whole life I've if I've ever if I've ever attended a con or when I've attended a conference of any sort, I've always thought, how can I be the guy on the stage?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I've just wanted to be the guy on the stage, and so I I love that. There's always I have a passion for learning, and I always had a passion for learning and developing myself and growth. And so I that's what's moving in this direction of helping other career fathers start discovering purpose and passion and living living the life uh that uh maybe a l maybe a lot are like me, I kind of felt like gosh, life's sort of passing me by. Yeah. And uh I and I I and I think sometimes we we get told to be realistic, you know, you gotta stop dreaming or whatever it is. And so or or I think as men too, we become it's hard to be vulnerable. And if if I change this thing, if I want to do this thing, what will people think of me? Well, they think I've gone am I have I gone nuts or something if I if I really say what I really want to do. And so I have uh learned that I I I have the I have a passion for speaking and helping and inspiring, and that's what I'm that's what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, you obviously you figure that out, right? You said you always wanted to be the guy on the stage, and so what steps did you take to become that guy that gets on the stage?

SPEAKER_00:

Great question. Uh I I started well, I I I joined a I I found a speaking coach. Uh just was through uh I was in a a program where I was just doing some self-development, personal, you know, high performance development in terms of personal growth and development, and uh came across uh a speaking coach and joined uh her program and did a keynote speech back in March of this year, which was a goal of mine to do. And so that was that was really really a I I thought this will help me decide whether or not I'm really out for this, whether it's your thing or not, right? Yeah, because I get up there and I throw up on stage and I'm like, oh, I'm so pasty white and I'm done. I'm like, yeah, I'll know.

SPEAKER_02:

A lot of people are definitely afraid of that.

SPEAKER_00:

But it was a great experience. I loved it. It was such I felt so excited, so it was really good. It was kind of everything I thought it thought it would be. So I I was really, really grateful for that experience, but I uh so I've continued, yeah, continued to develop myself and uh looking for opportunities to keep doing that.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. You did what a lot of us do as we get older, right? We we realize we walked this path and maybe we took the hard way that we didn't quite need to take. We could have done it differently, made it either a little easier on us, or just we would have been happier had we done some things a little differently. So you want to try to help others out so they don't have to have such a hard path to their dreams and their happiness, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. Yeah, very well said.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you. So you are now helping fathers who feel stuck or unfulfilled. So why don't you tell everyone about that?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Uh part part of my growth and what I I read a book, The Miracle Morning. Now that when people hear mirror morning, they think, oh no, uh, I'm not a morning person. I'm not, I'm gonna tune out. Uh and and it really isn't about the morning. It I think it's just really how you start your day. But that so that was a transformational book for me. It was uh one of the first things I I really started doing, I think with intentionality about okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna change the way I wake up. And then and then and really what it did and what I noticed a week and a half into it was I was starting to it was changing how I showed up in my family and my work life and every other area of my life. I was noticing a shift inside of me about how I felt. And and I was only doing a couple of things. Uh, if anyone's not familiar with the Miracle Morning, there's a a series of six like called savers. It's a routine you do some silence and affirmation, visualization, exercise, reading and scribing or journaling. So I was doing a couple of those things for that first week and a half, and that's when I I just noticed uh the shift in in me and and how I felt. And so I thought, well, I'm feeling this much better doing just a couple of things. Why don't I just do all of them? And so I just started incorporating that into my everyday morning life, and I'd done that for well there there's there is an app that of course there's an app for everything. There's an app for that, yeah. There is an app, and uh, I I I downloaded the app and I use the app most just for tracking myself, but today was 820 days in a row of uh showing up and doing the miracle morning.

SPEAKER_02:

All right informational on your website. I noticed that you offer someone that comes to your website a free guide. What is that providing for people when they get there?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, great question. Thanks. I have I created a free guide because it was for me very helpful. I I what I'm trying to things I've I I create is I I want whatever has helped me, if I can share that and help other people. Yeah. So one of the things that helped me was getting really clear about my purpose, what my purpose is, and my and having a vision for my life and where I where I want to go from here on out in in life. And so I I just took things that that I have learned and put that into a little free guide to help to help other people. And what I've what I've just discovering and have discovered is that when I became really clear with my values and what things were really important to me and and aligned that with my desires, the things that I that I want to do with with life, that's when I began to pick up momentum. Uh life didn't feel like such a grind anymore. It didn't feel so I guess the best way I can describe it is like we all we all have these devices we carry around with us that have a GPS on them, which is super helpful, but unless there's an address, it doesn't really take you anywhere. And so that's that's the best analogy I can think of is having purpose and having a vision has helped me. I now have a destination, I know where I'm headed, and I don't get distracted by other things that are that are vying for our attention and vying for my attention. So I'm I'm clear about where I want to go, where I'm heading, and what do I want to accomplish. And so I I that that's what I'm trying to provide is a a way, a simple guide that could just help other people. And so there's some journal questions, journal prompts, and the guide that could help help facilitate that as well.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's a really good idea. I should have done that some so the life-changing course because it was an online course, it was an audio book, really. It wasn't a course, you didn't have to take a test or anything, but it was lecture by a professor, essentially, and it was an audiobook, and it was called Effective Communication Skills. And man, that really changed my life. It changed the way I listened to people, it changed the way I communicated with people, it changed the way I just understood people. It was just so empowering for me. And I kept trying to tell other people, like, man, you got to go listen to this thing. It's the greatest thing I've ever listened to. And a lot of people kept trying and they would come back to me and they would go, man, that is that's way over my head. Like, I'm not getting it. It's not sticking with me. And so I should have at the time thought, well, I should rewrite this maybe in more of a layman's term because it was a doctorate level professor type course lecture. Yeah, I could get why maybe it didn't resonate with a lot of people and they didn't understand it. But man, for me, it was life-changing. And so it would have been a good idea to, I guess, kind of take that. Yeah, maybe I got my podcast now. I'm good. And plus, plus, I have a lot of other things I'm trying to accomplish at this point. I'm trying to help prevent suicides. And I also life coach people that are stuck in their careers or their personal life. And if people wanted to learn about communication, I'd be more than happy to share some stuff that I've learned, but it's not something generally people come not to me for anyway. So, all right, Dean, any last thoughts or word of advice or just whatever it is you want to leave with people before we get out of here?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I kind of kind of went back to the the the the dreaming uh and having and and I say dreaming uh uh sometimes that sounds a little bit like oh you're not being realistic. Uh but I I think we're all as as people, human beings, we we we we desire greater uh expression and expansion in our lives. We're all wanting a little bit more, and so that's what I mean by by allowing ourselves to dream. And sometimes I I love I love the title of your podcast, Life is Crazy, because life can get very crazy, and there's some some rough things that we all go through. And so I think and I think going through those experiences we the the dreaming part sort of gets beat out of us a a bit, and so we we we stop doing that. Yeah and we we start settling. And so I I I I say it's never too it's never too it's never too late to start dreaming again, but it's always too early to stop. And and so I I think that when we allow ourselves to and and when I when I guess when I even say dreaming too, what I I'm there there's often a little inner voice that something just speaks to us. It's kind of this in our in our heart and in our chest, it's just wanting to express. And sometimes we just put it aside, we ignore it, and we say, Oh, that's just my crazy thinking, or that's just not uh it's not being realistic. And it's I it's really an inner voice that's trying to who we really are as a person. And when we let that out and we express that and become who we the true us, we have great impact. I I think what I mean I've listened to episodes of your podcast, and so I I think that what you're doing and being you and just being very open and allowing and you're you're impacting people's lives for good, and just being ourselves allows we're all meant for for for more and and can have great impact if we'll if we'll allow that out.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's uh I appreciate the kind words and it is a great message. And I think what it is, as we get a little older, we tend to worry less about what people think about us, and we see okay, we've already lived a good portion of our life doing what we think is quote unquote right, right? So now we want to do what makes us happy. And oh, by the way, now we can also help people on that journey so they don't have to do what we did, right? And so everything you said, I think, is absolutely correct and great if younger people could learn and understand that, if younger people could pursue happiness in their dreams and the things they want to do instead of worrying about what others are gonna think of them or the things that prevent people from doing that. So those that's great stuff, Dean. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think when you said we're talking about younger people too, I was thinking the the questions that and I I didn't like that getting to ask this question when I was younger, like, what are you gonna be when you grow up? I don't know. Yeah, I think a better question is like, well, how do you want to live when you grow up?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. I got asked the same question and with my three sons. And I'm not saying it's worked out beautifully, being young and trying to figure out what you're gonna do in life is not always easy. But I've always told my sons since they were little, follow your passion, follow something you love. And then you have to decide if money is important to you or if doing what you love is important to you. And if you decide it's money, then go find out what's making money and follow that. If you decide I just want to do this thing that I love and whatever kind of life I live based off the financial situation that provides and creates for me, then I'm okay with that. And that's kind of how I wanted my sons to live their journey and lead their journey. And I still have obviously a son that's just turning 18 and one that's 15. So I still have two to go to to have a chance to figure that out. My 27-year-old, he's still trying to figure it out. So I'm just curious as we wind down, how did you lead your kids into adulthood like that?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh I think similar to what you've described, I've tried to help them, my wife and I to help them, you know lit because we have we have children who are one son's 20 youngest is 20, and he's he's sort of at that beginning stage of like trying to figure out in schooling and what direction he wants to go. And we have one, uh his older brother's just older than him. Uh I I think one of the biggest things we try to t to help teach them is don't don't compare yourself, don't compare yourself to others, and don't compare yourself to even older your older siblings because they're different people. Yeah. And they have different passions, different desires, different strengths and talents. And so don't try to just mimic what you saw them do necessarily unless that's what you feel, but just live, live, live your go, go, go live the the thing that you feel passionate about and and and do that, do that thing.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I think the greatest message is be true to yourself. I learned at an early age that I'm not like everyone else. Else and in some ways that was pretty good, right? I'm able to follow my own desires and wants. And I've never drank alcohol, I've never smoked, I've never done any drugs. And trust me, being in the Air Force and the Army and college and all that, there's plenty of people, peer pressure, that want you to do those things. I always knew I marched to the beat of my own drum. So I had no problem with being independent in who I was while still trying to identify with people and make friendships and build relationships. So it's I'm not saying it's the easiest balance. Some people are introverts and it's a little harder for them. And and some people just don't really know how to do it at all. So they just do what everyone else is doing. So I think being true to yourself is the key, it's very important to your own happiness in life. All right, Dean. I want to thank you for joining us today and sharing your story. And if you feel like you can get help from Dean and you're your father feeling stuck or unfulfilled, go check out his website. It's dean taylorofficial.com. And that's d-e-a-n tailorofficial.com. He offers his free gift guide to get you started. And I'm sorry, it's a gift of a free guide to get you started and see where that takes you and let Dean help you out. And for me, I want to of course urge you to go to brandonhell.com and subscribe to Life is Crazy. Just subscribe to the podcast, it's at the top of the website. And also, I have a new sponsor that I'm excited to promote. And it's their name is Manly. It's spelled M N L Y, and they're at getmanly.com. And it's a really great supplement company that gives you a blood test, they mail you your blood test in the mail, and you prick your finger and you send back your blood. And based off your blood test, they design supplements that you need based off your blood and what you're missing. And so it fills the void of your supplement design. So it's not a it's not a guessing game anymore where you know, oh, I need to go to the store and buy 25 milligrams of this every month or whatever, take 25 milligrams of this. It's an actual precise measurement of what kind of supplements you need and what you're missing. And then, of course, you get the blood test done every three months, and it updates as you update, as your body updates with the supplements. So that's get manly spelled mnly.com. So go check it out, it's a great product. And as always, I want to thank you for joining us on Life is Crazy and for giving us your most precious asset, which is time. And I always respect and appreciate that. And this has been Life is Crazy, and I'll talk to you next time.

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Brandon Held

Host
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Dean Taylor

Guest